"Right now, I'm alright..."
Good things come to those that wait yes? Lessons are always..."good things".
Imagine you are sick with a fever. Your are at the height of both emotional and intuitive sense. At first, it's not a problem. You're just thinking how bad it sucks to have a fuckin fever but then you resign yourself to the idea that it must pass...as does the thought of it from your mind. So now you are left with nothing but these heightened senses and time. You start thinking about life and suddenly, in the midst of your mental tour, you start seeing all what you consider "less than perfect"..."fucked up" instead. Melancholy hits you hard and you have nothing but the wall to distract you from thought. Your thoughts will take you to one place...absolutist conclusion. Where once you saw grey in that dude that kind of fucked you over in a way you knew you could live with, now you see black evil that requires a decisive conclusion. Why? That's where this gets interesting to say the least...
To understand yourself as a whole is to give yourself the ability to reason things through as every part of you sees them. If your spirit is still young and whispered (as most are), you will only hear through intuition "cut off the piece of garbage giving you trouble". Your soul (mind) will respond emotionally saying "no, I know the whole story behind why he did what he did and I must look at the bigger picture". Normally, your flesh would provide the reference for understanding that "story" because it understands the inner workings of the primal man providing your soul a reference point for empathy but it's voice ain't loud enough right now. It's muted by the fever so any understanding your soul might have received from it's reference point is now muted at best. You trackin? I hope so...
So what do you do? Do you call him and say "I really had time to think these past few days and I just wanted to tell you...fuck off" or, because you know that you are not in balance, do you wait until all three parts of you are in line to provide the input? Brashness will say "fuck it" to some regret later but wisdom will tell you "shut the fuck up and wait" and this, my beautiful people, brings me to the lesson most people are aware of but can't really provide a reasoning for:
Never make absolutist decisions under duress of any kind. I'm not talking about decisions that require immediate action. You'll find yourself lining up quick for those. I'm talking about those important decisions that have afforded you time to think through and if you think it just takes a fever to off balance you then think again. If you know your wholeness, you will just "know". Extreme hunger, sleep deprivation, the immediate aftermath of a heavy family or friend issue, the immediate aftermath of a strong emotional experience etc etc. They can all throw you off balance. Let these settle and allow yourself to run through your process of thought and reasoning. I suppose the best way to put it is by allowing yourself to take a deep breath, look around and notice that there is nothing troubling you in the slightest. At that point, your "alright". I know you might want to bask in the moment but just take a look at the"issue". Is it even an issue? Is it something you could live with? Is there anything to "do"? Or is it much ado about nothing? Like most things, you will find the latter to be true. What makes a molehill a mountain? Imbalanced perception. The trick is settling into that truth. Take it easy...you're ok. Some things just are. It's only rain and there is always tomorrow...be at peace mi gente.
You see how long it took you to read through that exposition of how I interpret the inner workings of wholeness? Well it happens much quicker than that. I just happen to be able to see it happening. It's either because I'm meant to or I've had way too much time on my hands but I'll leave that for you to decide. At least now you understand why I left my "Under The Weather" entry open-ended ;-) I'm out...and alright...
~Moses
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