To Sit and Rest...

Easy now...the calm before the whirlwind starts up again...nice video btw ;-)

I'm So Tired...

"I'd give you everything I got for little peace of mind"

Tres Copas De Vino...Original

Tres Copas De Vino

Mis velas me han vaciado mi marca de Bordeaux roto en tres copas...

Mi primera copa se ve y se siente suave, las crestas surco como pequeñas manos lenta y suavemente sobandome. Rítmica, hipnótica y sigue. Uno al lado del otro...ahí mismo. Los placeres...constante húmedo y listo. Tome las cosas con calma....agradable...lento. No hay necesidad de acero ya que mis dedos sienten todo lo dulce. Cada cresta formada por Dios para que el hombre pueda ver su obra a través de los dedos y la palma. La respiración es baja...hasta que

Mi segunda copa emite un bello reflejo de dolor...pero no del tipo que usted piensa. El dolor de la necesidad de alimentar en algo real. El dolor del deseo de ser deseada por la sustancia. El amor al ser amado como se ama el arte...con pasión y fuego. El deseo de ser querido...más allá de su forma. Más allá de su impecable belleza y gracia...en ella y con ella...deseada...deseada para más...en verdad

Mi tercera copa es hermosa, fuerte y de otro tipo. Se parece a mí...pero no lo es. Para muchos, demasiado pesada para levantarla. Para mí...fácil. Me sentaré y admire desde la distancia, ya que ninguno podía levantarla. Para regalarle no cuesta mucho...solamente vino...vino viejo que cierra la mente y te lleva a lugares que nunca has estado antes. Los lugares donde las huellas del pensamiento no puede impedir su magia...es la apertura de las puertas nadie se preocupó lo suficiente para abrir antes.

Bordeaux

Tres Copas De Vino...

"Y te quiero tener...y no puede ser"

My burning candles have me pouring my brand of broken Bordeaux into three glasses...

The first glass looks and feels smooth, the ridges groove as tiny hands slowly and gently stroke.  Rhythmic, hypnotic and still.  Side by side...right there.  The pleasures...steady moist and ready.  Take it slow....nice and slow.  No need for steel since my fingers feel everything sweet.  Every ridge formed by the Gods themselves that man can see their handiwork through fingers and palm.  The breathing is low...until

My second glass gives off a beautiful reflection of pain...yet not the kind you think.  The pain of need to feed on something real.  The pain of desire to be desired by substance.  The loving to be loved as art is loved...with passion and flame.  The wanting to be wanted...beyond it's form.  Beyond it's impeccable beauty and grace...in it and with it...wanted for more...wanted...for real

My third glass is lovely, heady and of a different kind.  It looks like me...but it's not.  For many, too heavy to lift.  For me...easy.  I will sit and watch it from a distance as none could lift it.  To gift it doesn't take much...it takes wine...old wine that shuts off the mind and takes you into places you've never been before.  The places where traces of thought can't stop you from it's magic...it's opening of doorways none have ever cared enough to open before.

Bordeaux ;-)



Moments In Confined Inspiration...

Tonight I ventured off with my ex-wife to a little spot on Mercer street.  Inside this little spot towards the very back we found ourselves a stage.  A stage where three people sat and got ready for their set...sh*t they were amazing.

Flamenco...an art form that requires an uncontrollable passion.  It is all giving in the way you strum every guitar string.  It is painful in it's cry when sung...and when danced, it is one of the hottest things you will ever see.  I watched as Sol "La Argentinita" danced and I was captivated.  To watch a woman pull out from inside of her that "duende" is mesmerizing and the truth that captivates the onlooker is not just the skill behind it all...but the idea that THIS is how a woman should make love to a man.  With intensity and build up.  With pain and fury.  With moments of "come hither" and other moments that say "Get the f*ck over here!!!"  It is all in that dance.  To say I was impressed is an understatement.

Yet above all things that I can say about Sol, David and Mark is this...they are some of the realest people you will ever meet...and if you all follow this blog, you know that goes a very long way with me.  God bless them, God bless their talent and God bless Flamenco...

I was happy to be confined :-)  Now for some wine lol  I think I'm gonna sleep good tonight...

What can I say...

About tonight...

Sometimes you watch a movie and wish your life was as exciting as that.  With intrigue and suspense...a great f*ckin ride.  You see these cats with guns and stolen merchandise.  You see them racing cool cars and always staying one step ahead of the law.  It's bullsh*t.  You see, when things are actually like that, you need to take sleeping pills to sleep at night.  You need to drink to forget that any moment you could be f*cked and you need to do your best to never lose the real man that you are.  The one that would never take such a role.

Sometimes those are the only parts offered...and sometimes you find yourself really good at it...

The only good moment happened outside a Starbucks's bathroom :-)  Yet after all was said and done, I sat at a bar and tried my best to remain entertained...I failed.  I remembered something.  What it was like to come home with someone you love.  What it was like to just sit and watch a movie or a show after the popcorn or entenman's cake was ready.  What it was like to just "be" with them.  With strangers to choose from at a bar, I couldn't seem to shut that off no matter how hard I tried.  It's time to get ready...I have to be moving on soon.  My book is ready but one thing remains.  After that, I'm done...

Good night

Finally!!!...

My book is done...all it needs now is editing and new pictures.  It's finally done!!!  I am excited in the direction I've decided to take.  It's risky but if it pays off then the sky is the limit.  Thank you all to those that encouraged me in the process.  From family to friends.  Millie, Diana, Yesenia, Lynn, Gabrielle, Pastor Debbie, Denis, my prior facebook people and yes...Jennifer as well.

Now that I've got it put together...it's time for phase two lol  OH DIOS!!! ;-)

Flying...Sweet

That's right...the innovators :-)

This is October...

I found out something...

I am loved...  I am loved by people that love me at distance, in closeness, even in "not enough".  They love me even when they hate me because I can't give them more.  I am missed and remembered...I am blessed, not as a testament to how great I am...but how wonderful they are...

I found out how out of control my life really got through the eyes of one of the most beautiful people you will ever meet.  I found out that real family love knows no time or space and that eventually...that love makes it's way to a place of beautiful collision.  I found out that there are people I miss without having ever met them face to face and some I miss...that I have the privilege of seeing everyday.  I found out I have want and need that has lingered in my soul for years unfulfilled.  Something only true passion can satisfy.  I found out that I will "love" no matter what...I will "miss" no matter what...I will "be" no matter what...

And one more thing:  You can have me...but I will never be able to have you...

Yeah, it's been a crazy month

Not Afraid...

It's been a ride...

Guess I had to go to that place...to get to this one

Aleluya Part Deux...

Some people, they just amaze you.  Thier care goes beyond anything you could imagine.  Their love extends farther than you thought.  Their acceptance is as if looking into the mirror of their own soul and their passion...equal to yours.  Wow...what soul could exist in such a beautifully made package...I say "yes" lol

Aleluya

Acompáñame a Estar Solo...

Acompáñame a Estar Solo

Ricardo Arjona

(Translated "Accompany Me in My Solitude")

Accompany me in my solitude
To purge me of my ghosts
To lay in bed without need for a touch
Accompany me in my mystery
As to why we're not together
To sleep without thinking anything will happen
Accompany me in my solitude

Accompany me in my solitude
Accompany me in silence
To speak without words
To know that you're there and so am I...right beside you
Accompany me in the absurdity of holding you without contact
You in your place and me in mine
Like a guardian angel
Accompany me in my solitude

Accompany me
To say without words
The blessing there is in having you and remaining unfaithful in my solitude
Accompany me
To want you without ever saying it
To touch you without ever even touching the reflection of your skin against the light
To think of me living for you
Accompany me in my solitude

Accompany me in my solitude
To calibrate my fears
To poison my memories a little
To love you just enough
And to want you the way I want you
To detox from my past
Accompany me in my solitude

Chorus
And if the lights go out
And if hell is set aflame
And if I feel lost
I'll know that you are with me
With a kiss that rescues
Accompany me in my solitude

Acompáñame a Estar Solo...;-)

The Truth...

Do you know what it's like to be loved?  I mean really loved?  Loved to the point that you cannot fathom someone so great at your side?

I do...

It is humbling.  It is incredible.  It makes me want to be all that they see.  It makes me want to give them what they deserve for loving me the way they do...all they imagine...all the best in me.  It makes me a man...something you can't fake. 

I will be all I said I would be.  I'll do it for me...I'll do it for God in me...and I'll do it for them :-)

Beautiful

Beautiful is how you curl up next to me naked at night.  Beautiful is how blessed you feel to be there.  Beautiful is feeling that tickle in my belly when you cant help but smile about something in me you admire.  Beautiful is our union.  Beautiful is natures way of saying "yes".  It is surrender.  It is sacrifice.  You can't fake beautiful...it just is. 

I know them well and I for one am grateful...

Hablando Del Amor...

"Para matar el llanto..."

Poesia...Brujeria...

Yeah...somethin like that lol

Into You...

Yes...

Consider this...breathing

A writer writes and as he does...he breathes.  The inhale and exhale of the moments "air".  Describing what he sees, what he feels...even sometimes, what he wants...what he desires.  Every word has meaning.  Every word has "breath" or "spirit".  Every word has life. 

To reread a piece is to relive it.  Every line that was meant for you, for me...for us.  Comes back sharp and clear as though it were written yesterday.  When pieces are true...they are timeless and formless.  They fit everywhere and they fit nowhere.  They are specific and vague.  One word means something and the other is meant to have no meaning at all.  The "bi-polar" sessions of a writer are honest even when he's confused...like now ;-)

Compiling my pieces for my book has taken me down a memory lane of drastic emotional extremes.  I feel what I've written and the memory of each breath still has life.  Still has meaning and form.  Something I know will always be true.  Reading them again brings me the vivid imagery I was trying to recreate through verse and most all of them dealt with intensity and passion.  Between yesterday and today I have visited Bahrain, Texas, Pier 17, Gelston Ave and of course...where I am now.  There is so much life in what one writes.  If it is honest...it will live forever...

Into Dust...

Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Inside me today
Around broken in two
Til your eyes share into dust
Like two strangers turning into dust
Til my hand shook with the weight of fear
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate
It was you, breathless and torn
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
Into strangers, turning into dust
Turning into dust
 Turning into dust

Angustia...

He bleeds and pleads for the bountiful seeds that come from pain and pleasure

The ripping of his skin, the indulgence in his sin

Watching as she groans with pleasure and pain from the deep

(To keep?...no)

Body heat keeps him warm tonight.  His delight?

Infatuation through penetration

(You will never be the same again)

I handle with care as I breath in your air of lust and fury

Feeling your heart beating faster on my chest as I do my best to give

Show me your strength, take inside my length of passion that knows no bounds

Shout my name in hunger pain that shatters my very soul...

(until I am yours)

~Moses

Written 2/28/2010 ;-)

Damn...them creepers sure do love to prey on them sleepers.  But are they really sleepers or creepers themselves...or are they the keepers of unsuspecting creepers that creep as they sleep and reap on the cheap.  Time knows how it goes to reveal the hoes that lie in the throws of empty flows...and yet I chose ;-) Tick tock tick tock  You dig?

Almost forgot about this one...lol

Monster - A Poem by Moe

Rusted feathered claws as hands
Roams the desert, deserted lands
His eyes held low so he won't see
"All of these people looking at me"

His skin is thick but easy to tear
Charred and burned, uneasy to wear
Looks up to heaven as if to say
"Why, oh Lord have you made me this way?"

My touch is soft but can cause an infection
My voice will receive but is apt for rejection
My eyes can find love in the simplest of souls
But can also see ugly in those very same holes

My choices they vary from tender to flame
Blue, hazel or green, it's never the same
Built by blood and flesh from his bone
A child at heart in a man fully grown

Eager to fly and eager to rest
Eager to beat down the pain in his chest
That all his internals, from black go to white
And when it is dark, the colors made right

The lines in his hands are the same on his face
From hiding so much, these lines have found place
Now to form roads for tears yet to flow
This monster cries out...to let the world know

~Moses

Aleluya

"tu fe fayo
y te traisiono
desnuda ella te atrapo
su luz y su belleza te agararon

y te ato a la silla de tu amor
rompio tu trono y te corto
te corto el pelo de tu fuerza y...aleluya

lo mejor de ti

quise sentir no senti

no te menti y siempre fui sincero

y aunque al final

todo fue mal

estoy cantando esta cancion

que suena casi...aleluya"

Somewhere between this song, these candles and this wine...

There is an answer to the riddle of excess

The place where saint and sinner meet to talk about their day

Before their war begins again

The place where lovers come to share a meal

Before they burn it off with passion

The place where God and the devil met

Before that tree was placed in the garden...

The place between the image and his desire made whole
Before his tounge meets her skin...

Aleluya...

What Dreams Can Say...

You know for a long time I questioned myself.  I wondered how I could be so wrong.  How I could go down a road towards a life that would have been impossible for me to bear.  How could I have been so mistaken in my choice?  It scared me to even think to choose again and made me even doubt the choices I've made up to that point.  Yet after awhile I realized something.  Everything I knew told me the situation was f*cked up.  Everything inside me understood how difficult that road would be but the pure love I felt drove me towards determination in the face of illogic.  I can't be ashamed of that and I can't say I was wrong.  I knew what I had and I was willing to bear it because I thought that drive was being reciprocated.  I thought things would change but they never did.  In this, I was delusional.  Once my delusion became too fantastic even for "love"...it was time to cut my losses.  Folks, I have seen love work miracles.  I have seen love smooth out edges and change the heart into something both can share.  Except that these miracles only work for those that are willing and those that are willing will see the fruit of it...if they are willing to work at it. 

Last night was one of those nights that leave the awakened in silent thought.  I sit here alone wondering what the hell happened and why.  Why did I feel a certain presence and why did I hate the fact it was there?  Folks, what you do in dreams is for you.  When you have the ability to determine what course your dream will take, it is a true manifestation of one's desire and my desire last night?...was to finally be left alone by this thing.

The man I was...the man I am...one in the same.  Now I will only share myself with those I deem worthy of such a man...even in my dreams.