"...I look in the mirror only to find...the face of a stranger..."
I remember a while ago having a conversation with someone I love about sexting and phone sex. She was surprised, given my writing, at my confession that I was bad at it. She said "but some of your writing is erotic!" and she was absolutely correct but most everyone fails to understand this about me until I prove my word. I didn't make that shit up...I lived it. When I write about nights of sweat, saliva and cum...I'm not lying nor am I exaggerating. I just never mention who it was with...although I might leave an "inside" clue here and there but I never kiss and tell. So yeah bottom line...I'm not a "talker". I value my word enough not to promise a thing I never intend on fulfilling...no matter how long it fuckin takes. Been years? I give a shit. I said it...I have to do it or at least apologize that circumstances have prevented the manifestation of my word.
Understand that this truth extends to all aspects of my life and it's why I rarely ever seriously flirt anymore or seek out women for pleasure. I know that it will lead to disappointment so why bother. Now, I've known men that profess to be great at phone sex but when the rubber meets the road...they can't outshine their imagination. It is the very reason why my imagination is fueled by the probable and/or...the possible. It is also the very reason why I never express most anything without intention as intent is everything. Some have a hard time believing that a "hello" or an offer to help from me are really just that and that is because with others, it usually isn't. A truism I've come to accept and take my time to dispel from how I'm received. I would never ask a woman to lower her guard towards men simply because it affects me. Just like you earn respect...you need to earn trust so ladies...hell yeah keep your guards up.
So do yourself a favor. Cut out the fake from your innards and work out the real to fill the vacuum left behind. I know it ain't easy for some because they have a hard time with the person they see in the mirror. Look closer...stare if you have to. The more you know about yourself, the greater your appreciation for the parts of you that are meant to shine. Anyway...yeah. I'm out...much love
~Moses