7 Days...

...of solitude... unexpectedly one of the toughest weeks I've had to endure for reasons I might reveal later on. Still dealing with some after-effects as I try to piece it all together. For now though... I'm encouraged to encourage you my love...

You're shattered like you've never been before

The life you knew in a thousand pieces on the floor

And words fall short in times like these

When this world drives you to your knees

You think you're never gonna get back

To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday's a closing door

You don't live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you've been

And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning, just let that word wash over you

It's alright now, love's healing hands have pulled you through

So get back up, take step one

Leave the darkness, feel the sun

'Cause your story's far from over

And your journey's just begun

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday's a closing door

You don't live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you've been

And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak, and every scar

Be a picture that reminds you

Who has carried you this far

'Cause love sees farther than you ever could

In this moment, heaven's working

Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday's a closing door

You don't live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you've been

And tell your heart to beat again

Your heart to beat again

Beat again

Oh

So tell your heart to beat again

~danny gokey

Okey Dokey...

Weirdest night in a long while. Might expound... might not!! Lol Time to turn some pages and rip others out the book altogether for the sake of my health. The major take away: not everything is bad as we think it is folks... some things are taking up space in our hearts and minds that were never meant to. From the personal issue to the world event. They were meant to distract us from the simplest solution by making things seem more complicated than they actually are. It's as easy as laying it down... and leaving it down. I'm out...

A day in the life smh

~moses apollo

"so when you remember the ones who have lied

who said that they cared

but then laughed as you cried

beautiful darling

don't think of me

because all I ever wanted

it's in your eyes"

In The Rain...

 

Making love in the rain

I can't believe the joy it brings me

And when I'm all alone

I hear the rain on my window

It's just a little thing

But it means so much to me

Our bodies together

While the rain plays a melody

Every raindrop

Makes me think of you

(Wishing you were close to me)

There is nothing that I'd rather do than

Making love in the rain

I can't believe the joy it brings me

And when I'm all alone

I hear the rain on my window

When it's stormy outside

It's warm in my heart

With you in my arms

And when you're away from me

I wish it would rain

'Cause it's always the same

Every raindrop

Makes me think of you

(Wishing you were close to me)

There is nothing that I'd rather do than

Making love in the rain

I can't believe the joy it brings me

(I can't believe)

And when I'm all alone

I hear the rain on my window

(On my window)

Making love in the rain

I can't believe the joy it brings me

(Making love)

And when I'm all alone

I hear the rain on my window

(On my window, I hear the raindrops flow)

Every raindrop

Makes me think of you

(Wishing you were close to me)

There is nothing that I'd rather do than

(That I'd rather do)

[Chorus: Janet Jackson and (Lisa Keith)]

Making love in the rain

I can't believe the joy it brings me

(I can't believe)

And when I'm all alone

I hear the rain on my window

(On my window, I hear it)

Making love in the rain

I can't believe the joy it brings me

All alone, I hear the rain

My love, here comes the rain

My love, here comes the rain

My love, here comes the rain

My love, here comes the rain

~herb alpert

Where Intent... Is King

"..."

somewhere between fear and boldness, freedom and commitment... and being a sinner or a saint... there's me and mine. hidden tween the norms muscle memory has carved into the souls of men are the ones exhausted by either side of the valley. it's lonely here sometimes... but sometimes it isn't.

many are afraid to venture into these spaces. where the rules are different and based solely on brutal truths and introspection that can only be articulated outside of tradition. where words like love, passion, consideration, respect and honor are more than just punch lines worn like badges picked out of cereal boxes to impress others. here, serving as guiding principals instead. the selfish may try to use them to take what they want and the self-righteous may try to critique them out of existence but that is what makes them so exclusive.

in these spaces, passion is more than what you simply want... it is where you are allowed to float an existence of yourself that perfectly fits into a certain configuration designed before time was time. in these spaces, there is no guilt and there is no shame... only the discretion that shields those that would never truly understand the hunger to express the divine order found in the nucleus of what so many would consider chaos. what's here? beauty and purity too real to ever feel wrong and its the very reason why there are so few here with me now. when everything is guided by truth... lies can no longer serve as viable band-aids.

for my part, you can keep your reality and norms as these will most likely have very little to do with me unless the need arises. oh but my love... find me as the badly needed intermission that exists as the hidden constant that needs no accolade or praise. only the need to fulfill its purposed design... in these spaces ordained by love... 

where intent... is king...

~moses apollo 

She Had A Question...

any given night at her place... they'd hang out and sometimes "play." that night... she had a question...

her: "hey, why don't you ever make crazy moves on me? i thought you wanted me"

him: "the truth?... i've never truly felt i've gotten the green light" 

she chuckled with eyes wide open at that... astonished

her: "wait, what are you even saying!?! you know how i feel about you! all that we've shared on emails & texts? all i said i would do to you!!"

him: "oh i know. that's why the change would surprise me everytime we got together"

her: "what change? there was no change!"

him: "hell yeah, there's always a change. you'd go from craving me to watching how i was gonna eat. i could feel you watching and waiting. analyzing how i was gonna take you or kiss you. almost like you were about to take notes. like you were set on watching me work... as opposed to participating yourself. that never made me feel wanted. for me a green light is way more than just permission... it's wanting me just as much, if not more. for someone like me... that's a big deal. for passion to flow, it must be circular. if it stops with me... what good is it? you know i can go on straight mechanics but more than that is where i like to be is all"

her: "oh wow... ok! so you want me to initiate more?"

him: "if that's what abandon means to you... then i'll receive it the way it's flowin. it could be a look, a vibe... something more. baby, i want you to do more than watch... from the inside. i want you to enjoy me beyond enjoying me enjoying you. i want the free you... the you that isn't afraid to show me her lust... her desire. to sit down and enjoy the meal you made yourself. i know you need to feel you can trust me with that... and so i wait for that without judgment. it doesn't change how much i love you or want you in the slightest. just know... you have that green light with me..."

she, then visibly wrestling in thought

her: "oh... ok... i think i understand"

the session that night was a bit different. after learning that he actually wanted the whole of her and what was holding him back, she no longer needed to see it for herself and decided to trust him enough to finally indulge in his desire for her. her kisses began to reveal her true hunger for him and her arch became as open as a "f*ck me now!!" ever could. he could barely keep it together... and it was glorious. no more questions for now...

~moses apollo