She Had A Question...

any given night at her place... they'd hang out and sometimes "play." that night... she had a question...

her: "hey, why don't you ever make crazy moves on me? i thought you wanted me"

him: "the truth?... i've never truly felt i've gotten the green light" 

she chuckled with eyes wide open at that... astonished

her: "wait, what are you even saying!?! you know how i feel about you! all that we've shared on emails & texts? all i said i would do to you!!"

him: "oh i know. that's why the change would surprise me everytime we got together"

her: "what change? there was no change!"

him: "hell yeah, there's always a change. you'd go from craving me to watching how i was gonna eat. i could feel you watching and waiting. analyzing how i was gonna take you or kiss you. almost like you were about to take notes. like you were set on watching me work... as opposed to participating yourself. that never made me feel wanted. for me a green light is way more than just permission... it's wanting me just as much, if not more. for someone like me... that's a big deal. for passion to flow, it must be circular. if it stops with me... what good is it? you know i can go on straight mechanics but more than that is where i like to be is all"

her: "oh wow... ok! so you want me to initiate more?"

him: "if that's what abandon means to you... then i'll receive it the way it's flowin. it could be a look, a vibe... something more. baby, i want you to do more than watch... from the inside. i want you to enjoy me beyond enjoying me enjoying you. i want the free you... the you that isn't afraid to show me her lust... her desire. to sit down and enjoy the meal you made yourself. i know you need to feel you can trust me with that... and so i wait for that without judgment. it doesn't change how much i love you or want you in the slightest. just know... you have that green light with me..."

she, then visibly wrestling in thought

her: "oh... ok... i think i understand"

the session that night was a bit different. after learning that he actually wanted the whole of her and what was holding him back, she no longer needed to see it for herself and decided to trust him enough to finally indulge in his desire for her. her kisses began to reveal her true hunger for him and her arch became as open as a "f*ck me now!!" ever could. he could barely keep it together... and it was glorious. no more questions for now...

~moses apollo