"Gravity...stay the hell away from me..."
I grab my institutionalized, memorized, regurgitated list that brings me to rationalized procrastination as I knowingly seek out endangered perfection looking for neo-lite out of a little black book I like to call true-love-lite. True love and true neo has no place for a man like me. Been there, done that and guess what? It hurt sometimes so fuck that. I pick one off the list to satiate my need to be desired finding validation and begin to feign deep interest. I hold my breath at times when I'm with her simulating the "take my breath away" effect. I send her messages telling her "I'm thinking of you" just so I can feel like she consumes my day's thoughts when she really doesn't. I'll listen to a love song and do my best to place her in it when all I could think about is the fact that I haven't eaten and it's getting late. All these machinations made not to trick her or fool her into a false sense of security but all this to convince myself of something. All this to make me feel like I'm experiencing something genuine and deep. All without taking any risks because hey, they off the "lite" list anyway. So long as it shines a hue of yellow, it might as well be piss but with a little bit of imagined spit and polish...I'll call it gold.
You see I know true love and it fucking hurts sometimes. It really takes my breath away to the point of hyperventilation all due to my emotional investment. Every song I hear has a face attached to it and my days are a mess because my thoughts of them are ever consuming. I lose control like I'm some fucked up teenager on a pubescent high and I despise the distraction of it all. I safe-guard myself with those I'm familiar with because it's easy to say goodbye when the truth I knew at the outset is finally made manifest. It doesn't hurt as much and I can let out an easy "oh well...next!!!" when it's over. What's best in all this, I can proclaim to the masses that I have known love in many ways and I would be a liar. Wait!!! I'm sorry I was looking in the wrong mirror. That's not me...it's you!!!
Folks, after watching an extremely attractive family member advertise themselves while jumping from one to another on social media, I just had to write about this shit. Some social media websites are eye-opening to say the least. This may all just be tongue in cheek but it's the reality for too many today. Now, they would never admit to such a thing because in many areas, they are strong and are seen in overall terms as such but in this one area, they show a hidden weakness. It takes real strength to allow true love to take hold and after taking on a few hits, they don't even want to think about goin in for some more rounds. Now lest you brutal truth haters think me judgemental, I can relate to this because after having been hurt, I thought to travail down the same path so that two paragraph entry...might as well have been me. Yet I came to a strong realization. If I wasn't strong enough to stand alone, then what makes me worthy of anyone else to begin with? What do I as an individual bring to the table? A nice body with a big dick? A nice smile with a mind? Am I in need of another's strength to complete with my own or do I have what it takes not to "need" but to purely "want" without "need". I took my time alone to create something for myself and came to the place where I knew I had the right to be picky. Which is where I am today. Picky and thankfully alone with the hope to find what I know to be true love and the patience to wait for it.
Today, I watch as so many strong, beautiful, sexy, amazing souls that could stand on their own do not. Either because they honestly desire to be "kept" or they just don't know all the true strength they possess inside. As someone that has been approached with payment by rich women, I can tell you from my standpoint, I find it abhorrent. I am not a man to keep anyone or be kept because to be kept is to be owned and that is not love...that's fuckin "pay for play" slavery. To add insult to injury, kept women are always lacking in one area to the point they start looking for shit on the side. I say so only because I've been approached. These women with all they have given to them just truly want one thing their men cannot easily give...to feel like a woman. Listened to, worshipped in bed and loved even in silence. Every man does this on the outset, but once they cinch the deal...it's over. So these women begin to look elsewhere when they come to find that their king ain't nothin but a serf with some money.
My loves, to be in the throws of true love has a cost but it's price in moments of bliss is worth every damn penny as there is nothing like being wrapped up in a quilt of pure light. Kept warm and cool at the same time. To feel like nothing can touch it when it's just you and she taking on the world. How do you know? It's those moments that keep you coming back as there is nothing on this earth more perfect God has granted unto man. Don't cheapen it by accepting anything less...
So to my men out there: Be mindful. Don't treat your women like meat or possessions. They are way more than furniture. Keep love true. To my women out there: Don't fall into that category. You are stronger than you know. Beyond your beauty and what is between your legs there is a soul to explore and inspire. Keep love true. I'm done here...
~Moses
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