Tragic Miscommunication...

"Remember all the sadness and frustration

And let it go, let it go..."

Imagine you have a friend that you are very close to and that friend tells you to meet her on Saturday night at a bar she frequents.  She gives you the address, you show up and she's not there.  You try to call and no one picks up.  You then look for your friend on Facebook and you find a picture posted of her and someone else havin a good ole time.  Your blood begins to boil because not only did she stand you up, but decided to meet up with someone else instead...or did she?

Now let's take a look to see what your friend is up to shall we?

Your friend is sitting at a bar alone.  A bar incidentally that had the same address except for two numbers.  She is sitting there waiting for you messing with her Facebook.  She can't receive calls because all they have in there is wifi but no phone reception.  What did she do on Facebook?  She decided that given a conversation she had earlier with someone, that she would post an old pic of both of them together.  After waiting a while, she goes two blocks up to call you and you're so angry that you decide not to pick up.  She goes back to the bar and sits there waiting for two hours before she decides to go home.

You stay up all night fuming over what just happened and by the next day you are almost over your friendship with her.  Right about now, your internals are saying goodbye to the friendship you guys had.  When she finally gets through to you she is wondering what she did wrong and you are amazed that she would even ask.  You think "the gall of this woman to play like she did nothing wrong" so your misplaced hostility towards her is now being reciprocated by her towards you.  All without anyone actually knowing what went down.

After a few days, you decide that it's time to have one last talk that turns into another argument but it is then that you find out the truth.  You were accidentally given the wrong address because her handwriting was so shitty and you never bothered to double-check to make sure it was correct.  You now both realize that what you thought might have been justified...if it actually happened the way you thought.  Except...it didn't.

Now you are left with a door closing inside that you know should not close due to a misunderstanding so you fling it open against the will of the bitter feelings that may have taken hold.  You know the bitterness has no reason to exist nor is the internal goodbye justified.  You also know that feelings that exist without merit can be easily discarded.  So what do you do?  You let it go...

Here's the lesson I came away with.  Some of us have preconceived notions of people based on our past situations and we are too quick to assign malice where none took place. It is our defense mechanism against being taken for a fool.  Men do it to women and women do it to men.  Especially people like myself that have been hurt in the past and I can tell you it is not fair to the woman I am assigning malice to nor is it cool the other way around.  We have these defenses up for a reason so I choose never to trust so blindly but a change needs to be forthcoming.  My best option for improvement would be that I should never be so quick to assign malice without hearing someone out first.  That will always be on me.  What's on anyone else is not for me to say nor is how they choose to handle it.  Is such a thing salvageable?  I guess it all depends on two things:  The level of maturity and understanding in the two involved and whether or not they want it salvaged in the first place.

I myself have chosen to let it go because I need real reasons to be mad at somebody so yeah...moving forward.  For me and mine...I'm out

~Moses Apollo