"I get along without you very well, Of course, I do. Except when soft rains fall and drip from leaves then I recall the thrill of being sheltered in your arms. Of course, I do. But I get along without you very well..."
You're in a relationship with someone you deeply love and they love you just the same. You take it upon yourself to improve physically and begin to receive accolades from many others acknowledging your improvement. Your mate now begins to feel invisible and/or excluded from your newfound appeal so what does your mate decide to do? Your mate decides that because you are receiving so many accolades from others, they will refrain from such compliments lest they become part of a horde of sycophants. Good move huh? Nope...very bad and very dangerous.
People have to understand that people that receive accolades on their looks see it as white noise after a while if they are centered correctly. They know it is nothing more than an admiration seeped in imagination and while the opposite sex is going crazy for them, the only one they want going crazy for them is the one who's opinion matters most...the one they love. The one they love on the other hand is deciding to "play it cool". Once again trying to separate themselves from the horde but all this does is place doubt in the mind of the improving party as to whether or not they are truly wanted anymore. It does nothing to bruise the ego but it can cause a deterioration in the relationship. What their partner sees as "playing it cool" is only interpreted as indifference which in turn causes the questioning of the relationship and that is where the vultures circling get their chance.
People if your man or woman looks good, let em know. If your man or woman is wanted by you, let em know. If your man or woman is loved by you, let em know. Even if they are told by ten thousand voices, no amount of measured voices will ever equal the importance of yours. "Play it cool" long enough and it will eventually cool the relationship. Your partner will begin to instinctively use the same tact because they will feel their want and love for you unreciprocated. That is when it becomes dangerous and that is when they begin to look elsewhere.
Years ago I decided to put this to the test with one of my partners that I had considered exclusivity with. I asked her a question, wanting to her to give me a particular answer to an absurd proposal I had put on the table. Instead of telling me no and saying she would be uncomfortable with it, she thought it best to use a "take it or leave it, I don't care" attitude and demeanor. I knew then that I could not go ahead with my plans for exclusivity because I would never have the sincere attention from the one I loved and that would be trouble for us down the road. I know she was uncomfortable with the proposal and because she wanted to "play it cool", she decided to answer in a manner she thought would suit that tact best. We lost each other on that night...
Folks I know many are afraid to show that want and need for fear of being taken advantage of but in my case as an unabashed romantic, it is a necessity for love to flourish. Too many people have taken to becoming "hard" because they don't want to look weak when it takes real strength to become vulnerable to rejection or betrayal. Being called a fool for love to me is a great compliment. It doesn't mean that you allow yourself to used or treated like a doormat. It only means that you are unafraid of these things when it comes to love. I keep my balance by reserving a part for myself that affords me the preparation to let go if my efforts at being a fool go unnoticed or unappreciated. Find someone that is willing to give it back and if you can't...stay alone. It is a gift to be loved by a fool. If your partner is a fool, the least you can do is make the attempt at becoming one yourself. If it fails, at least you can always say that you loved with abandon and that is worth way more than being able to say "I was never a sucker..."
I have loved at impossible odds. Knowing all the while there would be an end. I have loved the safe and the reckless. Each experience affording me something grand and heartbreaking every time. I was proud to be a fool then and today is no different...your fool...out...
~Moses
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