The Best That You Can Do...

"Let your love be strong and I don't care what goes down..."

You have a wife or lover.  She cares for you in ways that you sometimes don't deserve.  One day she gets an epiphany.  She wants to be more than she is but you know what?  This may cost you a wife or a lover because you are afraid that she will surpass you or not be able to make your dinner at night because she has to study or do some homework.  What do you do?

Men ruled by the idea that they should always be in command will feel threatened and do their worst.  They will either discourage her by telling her that "growth stuff" isn't for her or they will psychologically demean her until she feels she can't do shit.  Don't get me wrong folks.  I find great honor in the housewife that tends for her own but if she feels she can do more then there is no less honor in that.  I used to be a man filled with ideals that hindered my then wife's dream.  I didn't feel threatened but I just didn't like the path she was choosing and asked her to choose something else.  I was never one to demand she not pursue her goals but that one in particular was one I did not want her to do...to my own shame.  I was a short-sighted fool.  That was until I noticed something...

I began encouraging others and advising them to pursue their dreams and goals with vigor.  I told them what they needed to hear and saw how their faces would light up with a newfound fire inside.  It was beautiful.  Yet thinking of those I loved I felt ashamed because the most important person to me was never told this.  I knew then that I had denied the woman I loved the very thing I was freely giving to others.  I remember it was after my shift and I was out at sea.  I had to call her that night to let her know that I wanted her to pursue her dream because if she didn't at least try, it would stand as a regret for the rest of her life.  Advice I had just given to someone else moments earlier.  To this day she still wonders how that happened.

My people, understand this clearly:  Growth requires change.  Men and women that seek true growth admit when they are wrong and do all they can to correct where they have failed or in the least...take on a new mindset.  I didn't get to who I am today by reading fucking self-help books.  I just looked in the mirror and with brutal honesty saw what needed changing.  Something I still do to this very day...

The best that you can do for anyone you love is drop your ego and be the man that helps them climb those ladders even if you need to stay at the bottom securing the very ladders they're climbing.  Seek that they surpass you because in doing so you become a better man yourself and that is something no one can ever surpass via money, success or fame.

~Moses Apollo