"Husband...Father..."

Two words that carry such weight with me.  Two words not taken lightly by real men.  Two words that only men of true honor can carry.  Each carries it's own weight.  Each carries it's own sacrifice.  Each means so much more than what the zeitgeist would have you believe.  Some men have the audacity to call themselves fathers simply because they stand as banks where their children can withdraw from while their children can scarecly ever remember having a deep conversation about life with said "father".  They will tell you..."I never really knew him".  What about the "husband" that feels the same?  The prick that pays no attention to his wife until he needs to "get off" or he wants something.  He thinks he owns her because he provides a roof over her head.  Meanwhile, she's just a stranger to him that serves as a cum depository.  These men wear the moniker of "husband" or "father" simply because they can provide externals and some women have settled into that bullsh*t so they don't ask for more.  What's worse is that they train their children the same way.  Not to expect anything more from Dad because he works so hard.  Boo-f*ckin-hoo...cry me a f*ckin river.  I'm sorry but you don't get to wear those crowns without sacrifice homeboy.  MAKE time for the ones you are now responsible for.

A father not only provides...he is there to instruct, to guide, to share and to cry with.  He is the example for the next generation to follow.  The husband is more than just one that sustains your externals but one that tends to your internals as well.  One that cares when you have something to say.  One that listens as your body says..."no, not there...here".  One that just doesn't f*ck you...but one that makes passionate love to you more often than not.  His time and body is no longer just his own...it belongs to you woman, child.  If you are conscientious, then the reverse is the same for you as THIS is what makes a unit strong.  Self-denial is key.  Your time out with your boys is not as important as a quiet night with your wife and/or kids.  Priority MUST be set right.

Some people dream of having a family.  They put that right up there with unicorns and rainbows by adding white picket fences, a dog and 2.2 kids.  Guess what, that happens...sometimes...but most of the time you will be faced with problems whose resolution is anything but simple.  Choices you must make on your own.  Choices that don't even involve money.  Nine times out of ten, there won't be no white picket fences.  As much as you plan and as much as you save...the dream is just that...a dream.  Here is the reality.  YOU made a choice.  From the quasi adult to the stupid teenager.  YOU decided it was ok NOT to use a condom the night you picked up that silly ass chick from the bar.  YOU decided you were "grown" enough to sleep with little Billy over there.  YOU decided to bring forth a child into this world so it is YOU that must make the tough choices, not anyone else.  Your parents may be able to offer advice but their job was to raise you and if they did a sh*tty job...oh well, do better but understand something...that baby gets bigger.  The child will need direction, not just food.  The teenager will need guidance, not just the latest pair of sneakers.  It's not a game nor is it a fantasy...it's as true as life gets....THIS is real life.

I say this to you as a man.  I am not a boy.  A boy sees his lusts and desires as winds worthy to glide on.  A man sees his lusts and desires and asks "will this hurt the ones I love?" before jumping off into them.  If they do, the winds end there.  Speaking to my brother on this topic, a real man himself, brought forth in me the memory of how seriously I took my oath and my responsibility as both and how I still see them today.  As you can tell, I still see them as something grand...something of a "next level" for a man.  The childless will NEVER understand what it is to have responsibility like that of having a child.  Not one you paw off on mom or dad to handle while you go out and party...YOUR OWN responsibility.  The one that takes away your time for self and turns you into steel for the sake of someone else.  They don't know sh*t about it.  Do me favor and save the terms "father", "mother", "husband" and "wife" for real men and women...the self-less.

Lest I seem utterly bleak in my quasi rant...I will say this; The real man and the real woman experience something extraordinary when they say "I do" or when they hear the first heartbeat coming from the womb of the mother.  They know that from that moment on, their world is to drastically change.  They understand well, that their heart now beats for more than just themselves.  Their lives will never be the same again.  They now have purpose that will live beyond their own years.  They understand how true a "word" must be and they know how real a "life" is.  At that point, white picket fences and dogs mean absolutely nothing because they now fade into the reality of the joy of the new life.  The dream can never compare to the love that one experiences when vows are exchanged and even more so when that new baby is held for the first time.  Having experienced both I can tell you that there is nothing like it in this world...