In this blog you have read me speak about being a fool for love and some have gladly taken that to heart. Well, I spoke to a young man today with some feedback on this and I feel the need to share it for his own reference and to be able to touch on a very important part of the "fool". So with his permission and careful discretion, I will tell his story leaving out the details:
Mid twenties, good lookin cat meets this young girl. She, by his description is hot with a maturity level he said was evident. Ok, they talk, they go out and they share much. He decides that he is going to shower her with his best and tells her he loves her because after a few months, this is how he feels. He says she seems elated and is well aware of his feelings but that after a few weeks she began to show signs of an unexpected indifference co-inciding with a sudden switch back into elation. He wondered if there was someone else but he was sure there wasn't (I'm still not too sure but whatever, he knows why I say so lol). Now, through it all, he stayed the same as "fools" do. No games, just steady love no matter what. He began to notice that she seemed to act like "she had him like that". As though she could say or do anything and he would not change. He asked me what he was doing wrong because he felt like a fool. I said "exactly homie" lol Except for one little thing...
He did exactly what he was was supposed to do. He gave his gifts freely without recompense...true love. The problem wasn't him...it was that he chose someone that he would come to find was not as mature as he had thought. How does one come to this conclusion? Oh it's very simple. The idea that one would receive such a gift and instead of seeing it as blessing, they see it as just another person that's hungry for something they have that they can now lord over and manipulate. That my people is the clearest sign of the immature. She probably has a few that might be similar but whose intent is far from noble so she doesn't see the difference or she has never truly known someone to be this way just for them. Now I am one to give her the benefit of the doubt and say the latter is so. Why? I have seen way too many fuckboys (even the older men) play the game this way. They come off as though they want longevity just to get some ass. I am seeing this more and more these days which is why I say that I truly do feel sorry for the young. Especially for the good men trying to be right.
Folks, to be a fool does not require you to be a doormat. Nor does it require you to take shit, eat it and say they are the best brownies you've ever had in all your life. If you see this happening, then she either is not ready for a man like you or is just interested in staying in some form of control. Mature folk know what they have when they see it and are willing to compromise for someone like that because they are afraid to lose such a gift. The fools heart will never take that compromise or surrender as a weakness to exploit but instead will be moved into greater love and surrender. This alone will always keep that fool separate from the rest as no bitter word can ever be spoken. I only suggested to him to move on and to keep his gifts hidden until he knows who he is giving to. Never give a gift to someone that A) Will take it for granted or B) Isn't ready to open it. Just keep being a fool for love. Eventually you will come to find someone that knows how to cherish it.
I truly thank God that I have never become ensnared or tangled up with someone like that. Quick story time. I was in a situation years ago. Someone saw what they had in me but it was during a time when I was just beginning to find out all I truly had to offer. This beautiful, seriously "in demand" soul with all her complexities told me that she knew I was all she would ever need. She had a tendency to "play the field" very differently than most because all the people she came across seemed to be lacking in many areas so I understood where she was coming from. I just wasn't ready to accept that I would be all the people she needed me to be. I get it now and I won't cry over spilt milk. I just knew for next time.
Being a fool means you play no games, speak your heart, requited or unrequited and let the chips fall where they may. True love is way too precious to shortchange. If you do this, you will gather beautiful experiences that last a lifetime. Even the pain you feel from rejection produces dividends that will always take you to deeper heights...if you can understand that ;-) So my advice to the young is simple. Love is never the problem and if you do what's right? Neither are you. Get to know who are dealing with before you offer up all that your heart is capable of and "learn" to tell the difference between the fakers and the real. This will save you time and a potentially severe heartache. Good luck out there...I'm out
~Moses Apollo
Mid twenties, good lookin cat meets this young girl. She, by his description is hot with a maturity level he said was evident. Ok, they talk, they go out and they share much. He decides that he is going to shower her with his best and tells her he loves her because after a few months, this is how he feels. He says she seems elated and is well aware of his feelings but that after a few weeks she began to show signs of an unexpected indifference co-inciding with a sudden switch back into elation. He wondered if there was someone else but he was sure there wasn't (I'm still not too sure but whatever, he knows why I say so lol). Now, through it all, he stayed the same as "fools" do. No games, just steady love no matter what. He began to notice that she seemed to act like "she had him like that". As though she could say or do anything and he would not change. He asked me what he was doing wrong because he felt like a fool. I said "exactly homie" lol Except for one little thing...
He did exactly what he was was supposed to do. He gave his gifts freely without recompense...true love. The problem wasn't him...it was that he chose someone that he would come to find was not as mature as he had thought. How does one come to this conclusion? Oh it's very simple. The idea that one would receive such a gift and instead of seeing it as blessing, they see it as just another person that's hungry for something they have that they can now lord over and manipulate. That my people is the clearest sign of the immature. She probably has a few that might be similar but whose intent is far from noble so she doesn't see the difference or she has never truly known someone to be this way just for them. Now I am one to give her the benefit of the doubt and say the latter is so. Why? I have seen way too many fuckboys (even the older men) play the game this way. They come off as though they want longevity just to get some ass. I am seeing this more and more these days which is why I say that I truly do feel sorry for the young. Especially for the good men trying to be right.
Folks, to be a fool does not require you to be a doormat. Nor does it require you to take shit, eat it and say they are the best brownies you've ever had in all your life. If you see this happening, then she either is not ready for a man like you or is just interested in staying in some form of control. Mature folk know what they have when they see it and are willing to compromise for someone like that because they are afraid to lose such a gift. The fools heart will never take that compromise or surrender as a weakness to exploit but instead will be moved into greater love and surrender. This alone will always keep that fool separate from the rest as no bitter word can ever be spoken. I only suggested to him to move on and to keep his gifts hidden until he knows who he is giving to. Never give a gift to someone that A) Will take it for granted or B) Isn't ready to open it. Just keep being a fool for love. Eventually you will come to find someone that knows how to cherish it.
I truly thank God that I have never become ensnared or tangled up with someone like that. Quick story time. I was in a situation years ago. Someone saw what they had in me but it was during a time when I was just beginning to find out all I truly had to offer. This beautiful, seriously "in demand" soul with all her complexities told me that she knew I was all she would ever need. She had a tendency to "play the field" very differently than most because all the people she came across seemed to be lacking in many areas so I understood where she was coming from. I just wasn't ready to accept that I would be all the people she needed me to be. I get it now and I won't cry over spilt milk. I just knew for next time.
Being a fool means you play no games, speak your heart, requited or unrequited and let the chips fall where they may. True love is way too precious to shortchange. If you do this, you will gather beautiful experiences that last a lifetime. Even the pain you feel from rejection produces dividends that will always take you to deeper heights...if you can understand that ;-) So my advice to the young is simple. Love is never the problem and if you do what's right? Neither are you. Get to know who are dealing with before you offer up all that your heart is capable of and "learn" to tell the difference between the fakers and the real. This will save you time and a potentially severe heartache. Good luck out there...I'm out
~Moses Apollo
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