I'm gonna say something everyone needs to remember; Principles that change by the breeze that hit a man's balls or that tickle a woman's vagina have no place among the seasoned. Principals are foundations we are supposed to build upon. It is akin to building a home. Without a strong foundation, it is easy to bring down. I've seen too many arguments of principal start and end with an "appeased" and an "appeaser". The "appeaser" feels the need to do so because he cannot negate the truth of the argument. Although he knows the argument is true, he doesn't want anyone reminding him of it. It's like having an argument with your brother about taking food from another man's table. He insists there's nothing wrong with it because the amounts are so small, they are nary missed. You insist it's stealing plain and simple. He relents and begins to espouse the virtues of your argument as though they were his own. He puts on a neatly put together performance. Shit, there may even be tears...Academy award shit. He knows what you're saying is true but he don't give a shit...he wants what he wants. He just doesn't want to have to answer questions that he can't give straight faced answers to. Two weeks later, he's picking at the same table. A little more every day, watching you from the corner of his eye to see if you've stopped noticing all together. Hey, he made you happy right? Cooked you that meal? Got you them tickets? All is well right? Must be because he just complimented me on my last post. Fuck that...don't be stupid. You've just been played and all virtue you tried to instill has just been shit on. That's right...shit on.
You see, more times than not, the "appeased" enter into a comatose non-vigilant comfort zone where they trust the supposed change of heart is genuine. They think they made a break-through and forget that humans are mainly full of shit. Their pride has them believing they really made a difference and they wind up missing the little re-occurrences that are creeping towards full blown "fuck all we said" status. The appeasers, on the other hand, think themselves too clever for their own fuckin good. They think themselves too "nice". These motherfuckers marvel at themselves because they think themselves masters of obfuscation and manipulation...dumb fucks lol When people have attempted to turn me into the "appeased", I just wait and watch as though I see no re-occurrence. Without a word, I slowly change my vantage point altogether. I pull back until my emotional investment is nil and if they fuck up, the only people they wind up hurting...are themselves. The price of such a thing is steep though as it is the caring you had for that individual. It gets lost without emotional investment and without care, there is no reason to remain a presence. It sucks but it is the ONLY viable consequence. Folks, if they think you that stupid and inconsequential, then you have no business being in their lives to begin with. It's just the truth of things...harsh or not. With me, they either really change or I purposely shut off the spigot that keeps me giving a shit any longer. I use principals I know to "change my mind" at the root of things. After that, it's only a matter of time till I am just a passer-by in their lives. Watching their car go up in flames without batting a fucking eyelash. With all I have to offer, I find my word and energy too damn valuable to throw away on someone with nothing to show for it. Shit, isn't yours?
As a husband, I learned how to love, deal and care "specifically". As a parent, I learned how to love, deal and care "generally". Specifics take time and lots of energy to understand. All variables must be taken into account. Generalities are universal and are easier to see. The basics of man is seen when you pay close attention to your children. They are the foundation...the clear canvas that we, as parents, must begin to paint upon. So where do "the appeased" and "the appeaser" come from? It all comes from the immature instinct of "MINE!!!" The immature instincts that have us wanting to do whatever we fucking feel like doing without thought of consequence. Your children will cry and promise you they will never do it again. They will swear up and down that they have learned their lesson as you melt at their tears only to have them do the very same thing the next day. They study you like masters to see what they can get away with. You accept their multiple apologies until consequence is called for and action must be taken. This creates in the heart of the parent a general resistance to bullshit. You never take change seriously without concrete evidence and permanence. So let's get it clear; when I say "OK, glad we sorted that out", know that I really mean to say "alright then, let's see what you'll DO next". To break this down even further I need to go back to the deeper "message". To put this plainly: The "appeased" are the uninitiated naive while the "appeasers" are the immaturely selfish. Both unwilling to accept that neither have the right to manipulate the other. Both failures at communication.
So if you fit any of these categories, then try something new. To the "appeasers", try growing the fuck up and sticking to what you just stated was true. If you don't agree and have a strong enough argument based on fact...then fucking say so. If you say you agree in principal then prove it by agreeing in deed...permanently. To the "appeased", try growing a pair of balls and show some value to all you say you believe. Don't let someone shit on it by playing you or testing you to see how much you will allow before real consequence is met. This is how fucking doormats are made. Truth is, people will walk all over you if you let them. Especially if they feel you are standing in the way of what they want and those include people that activate the conscience of someone that has purposefully shut it off. People that shut off their conscience do so for a reason. It is a hindrance to getting all they want. They tear down that wall so they can say "I didn't think" after the fact. They will not hesitate. They will walk over you with spikes on their feet one day and fluffy fuckin sandals the next. If your logic is so sound that it jars their conscience and they are immature? Trust me people, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE. They will find ways to shut you off and that includes giving you just enough to make you believe you've gotten through. Don't you fall for it. Play the fool but never be the fool. Watch them and when they least expect it, give em the big "fuck you". Pull that rug out from under their feet and get the fuck outta dodge.
And, I'm spent lol
~Apollo
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