He enters stage left...approaches the podium in an empty theater, clears his throat, and begins to speak into the microphone... eyes fixed on page. The place looks smoky, regal, and elegant:
"Step one... cut your nails to where your fingers can glide on fabric without resistance.
Step two...make sure you've brushed your teeth...but moreso your tounge. Take off as much "white" as you can.
Step three...bathe. At the end of your shower, use something called "Tend Skin" on your privates. This will prevent odor for days. If you can't find it... make your own. It's easy...
Now, on to the most important part of all:
Do your utmost to engender trust that will allow her to feel safe enough to be her truest self with you. This must be established before steps one through three can even be contemplated as those steps are necessary to remove distractions while in sexual sessions. This is the hidden level of foreplay most tend to overlook. Consider that a woman will orgasm by herself way more than she will with a man. Why? By herself, she is free to explore her body without critique or judgment, and it is our job...to let her know that this mindset and freedom is safe in our presence. As young men, we were conditioned to believe in the "technique." A "paint by numbers" program that had us believing WE were the "reason" she would orgasm (even some women believe it) when the truth is, her levels of comfort have so much more to do with it than our technique. Yes, it is our duty as lovers to learn the inner workings of the female form, but our most important task lay within. The sincerity by which we operate informs how we proceed to put her heart at ease, and this requires true introspection, understanding, and empathy. Now, some of you boys may already have scoffed at the idea that all this is needed for a "f*ck." Well, sorry to tell you, but you're in the wrong room. You can find information for that on any internet porn site. This room is for those looking to learn how to continue making love to her soul... from mind to heart to flesh and blood. To be able to convincingly carry the mantle of the "true lover."
And why is all this necessary? Because a session of true intimacy is never complete when it is one-sided. I will never again make love to a woman who is more attentive to what I was doing than to know to live in the moment herself. I've had a couple of experiences where, due to my "reputation" (often earned, sometimes fantastically manufactured), women would spectate. To be clear, I'm not talking about something I misread. The mood and timing would be set for a kiss or a session and instead of releasing that sexual or intimate energy, they'd switch to watch what I was "doing" as opposed to fully flowing in the moment. As though they were watching me "work" with a look of fascination or anticipation on their face. In some of those cases, I've not even attempted a kiss. It felt like they were expecting me to push some magic buttons that would get them going. Essentially, they take themselves partially out of the moment. They pre-conditioned their minds to expect something "otherworldly" when the truth is my so-called "magic" does not work to its fullest without their own. Now, if you know what you're doing, orgasms will take place either way but this isn't just about that. This is about having an "everlast" experience with the one you're connected with, and unless that connection is truly "instant," it can take some time to find. How do you find it?
Sincerity will find its connection, connection will build its trust and it is that trust that will produce the feeling of safety in your presence. She will allow you into HER world of pleasure. Once that door is open and that road is paved, almost anything touched, bitten, scratched, and tasted will be magnified ten-fold into an experience that will embed itself into the soul. Not only this, but you will also, over time, develop the ability to guide these moments through different levels. From the crazy to the erotic...sensuality will eventually come to have its own dial. Sounds good, right? Ok...caveat time:
and this is the point most men decide to leave...
You must come to understand that this can not be forced, manipulated, or conned into existence IF you want the most out of the experience. I can say this a thousand times, but most men will view this as another trick or tactic when it's anything but. This MUST be organic. This takes heart. It takes soul and a vision of love that supercedes selfishness. If you just rolled your eyes or think I'm being melodramatic, then you have a) never experienced what I'm talking about and b) most likely think that there is no difference between what I'm talking about and "f*cking". There is a HUGE difference between a f*ck boy and a lover. If you didn't know that? Congratulations... now you do.
Remember: true intimacy requires true connection. True connection requires brutal honesty, transparency, and understanding. In other words...this is NOT for the quintessential "gamer." The gamer armed with such knowledge is akin to a toddler running with newly sharpened scissors... never a good idea. In this, there is a responsibility as it can become a power. Respect it... honor it, and it will serve you and the one you come to love well. And with that... I bid you all... "adieu."
He situates his papers and sets them neatly into his folder, and begins to walk away from the podium. Exit stage right...the place looks smoky, regal...and elegant.
~moses apollo
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