This is a piece that's been brewin & stewin inside for awhile. Maybe it's time to draw some lines in the sand and be done with it. Might be way too much goin on to get something like this right but I guess we'll see. Just tired of so much superfluous bullsh*t.
In the war-like state, one tends to have heightened senses and I've noticed that in this state, most things done and taken in are exponentially enhanced for the sake of efficacy. This even includes the breaks one takes for intimate moments. It's like sitting to have a snack like a civilized savage that hasn't eaten in weeks every damn time. I am in that state right now due to a serious issue in my family and in this time of enhanced clarity, I've noticed something unrelated that's become a bit disturbing to me. That in this upside down world I've been speaking of, I am as yet surprised that even what is seen as having value today has been turned on it's head.
I've mentioned how we all carry our price tags around our necks whether we mean to or not. Not so we can be bought or sold but as an involuntary expression of our value that is on display everywhere we go. Now every once and awhile, it's important to read the zeitgeist to see what "the market" has determined has value (as opposed to one's TRUE value that's determined by our innermans' unseen best) and I was a bit sick to my stomach when I saw it. I am now looking at a world that has become so "basic" that even the "fetishized" has thrown it's hat into the category of universal beauty. So that even what is both physically AND sexually unhealthy is now validated as "beauty" by clicks on social media. A validation that inadvertently artificially inflates one's value in the eyes of many and sometimes...even in one's own eyes.
Quick note: If you're one of those virtue signalers that needs to adhere to the lie that "everyone is beautiful" (in an outward physical sense) in order to satisfy some form of mass psychosislly obtained code of self-righteousness...this might not be for your baby eyes to read. This is called the gratuitous "trigger warning"...onward!!!
When every type of "tits, ass and muscle" has more value than heart, truth and real passion...we've got a problem. Now you may say "so says the muscle man that posts pics all the time!!" and you'd be right in your incredulity except for one thing you had yet to take into account: HOW you present what you present is oftentimes way more important than WHAT you present. The photos that get clicks are "oh me so horny, me love you long time" sh*t that attracts folk that could never afford what is actually being presented. I'll give you an example of what I mean: Some chick posts a photo of her vagina with a caption that reads "get some!!" and gets a bunch of likes, hearts and the occasional "what a nice shaped labia you've got there missy!!"...true story!! lol Now take a look at the "likers" and rank the likers or "validators" by what would happen had this been a real life situation. This is when that "validation" loses it's luster. One person that liked your photo wouldn't last 2 seconds in front of you much less get permission from his mother to even see you. Then there's the other dude that looks like he lives in a van and forgot to remove the copious amounts of hard tissue on display behind him off his profile pic. How bout the husband keen on posting pics as a decent man WITHOUT his wedding band. Still keen on this validation? Keep it real or don't keep it all my people. I get very few clicks on my photos because I always present them as something you can ONLY obtain (if obtainable at all) by getting to know my innerman first and THAT is way too much to ask for most. That price tag alone thins the herd substantially. It commands a respect that has some folk shootin their shot via DM so they won't get publically embarrassed (some baby sh*t I would never do unless publically provoked anyway). My price tag is always clear..."I am NOT cheap" and although what I am is easy on paper to somewhat understand, the "living out" of what I am is near impossible for most...especially today. I do myself no favors in this regard because I need to remain true to all I am and if there are to be any suitors...they need to know what they're looking to get into before even trying.
So my "vetting" tweak? You only "get to" if you "get me". If you don't "get me" or have no interest in doing so beyond the "fantastic"...then don't bother even looking my way. I'm too complex to be simplified (quantified, labeled & neatly boxed) and if that comes off as arrogant to anyone reading this...then you're among those that don't "get me". I know my worth all too well and you can speak out your insecurity or virtue signaled false humility all you want to call it whatever your mind needs to call it. Keep it movin, I'm not for you...yeah, I'm gettin "like that". Given all I'm facing now...time has gotten more valuable by the minute. New folks askin or approachin me need to know this from jump: there's no game in my game. Those that know me still left in my corner...this ain't for you but enjoy the piece anyway.
I always said that I would wind up alone or close to it. That the ones that chose to remain with me will be something special. Something beyond ordinary and I always knew there would be very few left by the time that day came along. Not because I'm so great but because it would take women of serious emotional and passionate heft to love a man that chooses to love as true and as freely as I do...even as the same was expected in return. This world gets simpler and dumbed down by the day and some have succumbed to this to remain "relevant". To no longer feel the alien status they've been relegated to by the times, they've just quit growing "realer" as we are meant to over time. Yeah well not me...
I will continue to require critical nuanced thought in all my suitors. To allow those that are willing to connect beyond the physical (before the physical) a bit more access to me than most. Why? It's the only way they'll understand me without having to explain myself every five minutes. Ass, tits and a nice face is cool but nothing beats out peace of mind and ease of expression. Love and passion cannot easily flow free without these two pinnacles. To know that the person that's with you (even for the moment) is WITH you...makes the moment what it should be. Anything less is unacceptable. Trust me I'm fine as I am but I've only amended that to include the possibility for the "extraordinary" to still happen. It may only be a part of the fullness that is my life...but it's "experience" always adds that wanted spice to just about everything else.
Now if there is anything you can glean from this uneasy rant of mine, I truly hope and pray that it was the understanding that you should never sell yourself cheap...even if the times are deceptively telling you that the "piece" you know to be worth 5 dollars is really worth 100 now. Propagated by folk that no matter how much of grandma's birthday money they've saved throughout the years, can't even invest 2 dollars much less the hundred they imply they have. Folks, you have REAL value and it's value that will usually receive no validation in the form of clicks or compliments but when ONE with the same value sees it, it carries way more weight than the hundred that don't. I don't expect compliments on my pieces but when I get one, it has real value. Not because of it's importance to me but because it meant someone was inspired enough by it to do something they wouldn't normally do. Means I did something there that was REAL...get it yet? I'm out my beautiful people...
~moses apollo
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