I sit here in the dark with the highest hopes I've had in a while. Everything will be fine and I will be the best I've ever been...making that my new starting point for improvement. It's funny but sometimes you need to be left alone to be able to see through the eyes of truth. When the bullsh*t is gone you have no choice but to see you for what you are. There is no one trying to make you feel better by lying to you about your state but you see with your own eyes what needs doing. You revel in the good and you look to amputate the bad. Although some will seek to find ways to "live with" or "deal with" the sh*t they carry...I cannot and will not. I choose to rid myself of it even when the lights go out and it's quiet. It's then when most people think about the sh*t they've done...the sh*t gone unanswered or unresolved. When there are no distractions...no one to tell them how beautiful or sweet they are. No one to pat them on the back as if to say "you're fine" even though their lives are in secret disarray...even though they have unfinished business.
If you've followed my blog and my heart you know I cannot nor will not ever live out a lie...nor do I stomach those that do. I know where I hurt and need healing. I know where I'm strong and thrive. One does not get any more attention than the other because the truth demands that all of it...is me. I carry the initials MAA. That name will outlive me and for that I am grateful to God. There are people that have seen me and know what I am. To be blessed by them is an amazing thing...sometimes even overwhelming. They know all of me...and are glad to be by my side. People that care and love because it comes from the heart...not for an end. They know all I do is done for a reason...even now. God bless them and keep them. May the Lord shine upon them forever and may the grace they show me through their love be shown back to them a hundred-fold...for I know what it feels like to be a soul without one's grace. As for those whose number I can count off with one hand that cannot fathom the concept of grace even though grace has been shown them repeatedly..."good luck"...because that is all I "wish" for you..."luck". That and a quarter might get you some gum at a NYC corner bodega. Maybe one day you will come to find that all the good you have is not because of you...but IN SPITE of you.
As for grace:
Luke 12:48
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few [stripes]. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
If you've followed my blog and my heart you know I cannot nor will not ever live out a lie...nor do I stomach those that do. I know where I hurt and need healing. I know where I'm strong and thrive. One does not get any more attention than the other because the truth demands that all of it...is me. I carry the initials MAA. That name will outlive me and for that I am grateful to God. There are people that have seen me and know what I am. To be blessed by them is an amazing thing...sometimes even overwhelming. They know all of me...and are glad to be by my side. People that care and love because it comes from the heart...not for an end. They know all I do is done for a reason...even now. God bless them and keep them. May the Lord shine upon them forever and may the grace they show me through their love be shown back to them a hundred-fold...for I know what it feels like to be a soul without one's grace. As for those whose number I can count off with one hand that cannot fathom the concept of grace even though grace has been shown them repeatedly..."good luck"...because that is all I "wish" for you..."luck". That and a quarter might get you some gum at a NYC corner bodega. Maybe one day you will come to find that all the good you have is not because of you...but IN SPITE of you.
As for grace:
Luke 12:48
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few [stripes]. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
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