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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Bring Me Tomorrow...

"BRING ME TOMORROW!!!" shouts the king.  This king with a kingdom that has no walls or pieces to adorn.  This king that is naked...and alone.  He shouts to His Lord because that is the only voice he finds sweet anymore.  His Lord is the only one that has never nor will ever...fail him.  His kingdom?  His kingdom is found in unkept wilderness where there is no path or gardner...just the wind and the wild.  A place without sign or direction...where lesser men have gone mad, he has learned to be still, until the wind says otherwise.  Yet in his waiting, as he lays upon the thorns...he remembers too much.  Old wounds, new wounds...scars that have never healed.  All bring him an anguish and an unbearable pain that he thought was gone.  The memories flash from stillness like movie scenes in his mind...movies he has no choice but to watch over and over again.  Relating each time with the losses, the failures and the hurts.  Things he buried thinking they could do him no harm come to surface like a corpse let loose after being trapped underwater.  They surface and startle.  They are vivid and real...because they all happened.  The scenes move not the way he'd like to remember them...but the way they were.  Missed opportunities, squandered love, finances and talent...betrayal from those he poured his soul into.  Scenes that just flash.  The pain is real, the anger is real...the hurt is real.  He is numb now...

Normally, I would tell you how the king made it through.  I would present some wise and pithy explanation.  Problem is, I can still see him viewing his moments and crying out that they would end.  That his new day will come in earnest.  That his new day will come without the past baggage in tow.  Others move past their histories by replacing them with something else.  He could never bring himself to do that because that would never be fair to the replacement.  All that he could choose from is beautiful, worthy and tender.  Of all that he could choose from, none stand as fly by nights...none can classify as mere stand-ins.  Oh the beauty in their character, strength and loyalty.  All with the physical beauty to match the soul inhabiting the same.  He ran into the wilderness so the day would come when his choosing would be real and not just a temporary band-aid.  That he should never present a fake smile or mechanical touch when the moments came again.  Naked and still in his kingdom, he has kept something tied around him.  Something that all these memories have sought to deaden...his passion.  He has protected it at cost...he does so with words on a page...

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