Sitting here about to go to sleep I have this question in my mind. How can people easily drop something they've been carrying for years? I've seen people struggle and fight for something only to give it up on a whim and I ask myself: "it must not have been that important then right?" Really? There are people that have it so together they can rationalize a proper end but when you know someone is clearly f**ked up you wonder how THEY do it. My thoughts turn to multiple personality disorders. How these people can actually live different lives within the same body. I have come to the conclusion that although it is not that drastic I can see glimpses of it in several people I know that have seemingly dropped shit easily. They seem to retreat into someone else...be someone else so that they don't have to deal with the loss their "true self" suffered. They become plastic...
My mother used to "out" people like that all the time and she would do it in such a way as if to say "you can be whatever you are around me...I don't care". She would uncover a lie, a mask or impressions people would try to leave her. It was funny at times the reactions she would get after she would say non-chalantly "yeah and I know BUT..." lol She would then proceed to tell these people all she saw in them and usually be spot on. From that moment forward all you got was "them" and no one else. You just couldn't fool her and some people would just stop dealing with her altogether because they didn't want to be what they were around her. She told them what they needed to do at their core. She granted solutions to their problems that required action; action some people don't want to take so they become something else. Folks, it's always easier to be somebody else than it is to be yourself. Especially when everyone seems to want the person you pretend to be. They like it when you get drunk and stupid...makes them laugh. They like it when you talk nasty...makes them horny. They like it when you are the "free, happy go lucky" type because then, with you...anything goes. They want the person they can do anything with and could give a shit about how you feel at your core so long as they get off. What if you're not that? What if you talk a good sex game but are as dry as can be? What if you like to drink but hate getting drunk because of how you act? What if you're really a homebody that likes to go out from time to time but not like the "club kids" do? Problem is that if you are one that needs all to like you, you will become what you despise just to make everyone happy. You will have to prove you are who you say you are. You will have to create several masks for each person that thinks you're "great" when they don't have a clue as to who you really are. It's at these times that unhealthy retreats are created. Created so that you don't have to deal with "you". A "you" that may have dire needs for growth and nurturing. Every time you are someone else, the person that suffers the most...is "you".
I picked that up from my mother and the truth is it has cost me but I could care less. I would rather you hate me for unmasking you than to walk with someone that is lying to me about who they are. You will not like it when after I see you, I "detail" you to your core. You will not like it when after I see you, I offer up solutions for your real "issues". You will not like it because I will always address the "you" that is constant and not the person you are pretending to be at the moment. I will speak to your core and in time you will hate that my solutions for you never change. They don't change because you don't either. Yet one thing is certain and this is the truth. You NEVER have to be anything else but what you are around me and that is worth sticking by even with all the things you hate about it lol I've had people cry to me one day and dismiss me the next because their "friends" were around. They come back when they get tired of wearing the mask that's been suffocating them so long...only to put it back on because they are just not "cool enough" to hang with the crowds if they are themselves. I don't know how many times I've heard the phrase "I feel like I can be myself around you". This is a double-edged sword for me because the people that don't want to see themselves anymore usually wind up cutting me off and I am left standing alone wondering what I did...until I figure it out lol From women to thugs...all the same. People with issues...people. Folks, we all relate when we are who we REALLY are and that is my space. That is my arena. I pull no punches when it comes to what I think because I expect the same in return. So back to the question...
How do people that are clearly f**ked up seem to easily drop something they've been carrying for years? They retreat into the person they were before they picked up what they dropped. Foolishly believing that this will erase all those years of burden. They take up the personalities and masks they had to drop while carrying whatever it was they were carrying...until they are faced with it again. Until the lights go out and they have no one to talk to or impress. When there are no more diversions. The pain is the same and the loss is just as real. There was never any real healing...just a change of clothes. Masking pain through entertainment or diversion. This is something I could never do. I am who I am and I have no masks for anyone so I suffer what I need to suffer until I make it through. This is why you have heard me say repeatedly...I only hang with the "real". They know I see them and they love it. They love it because if I see them and dig them it must mean someone else will too. Now for those that are in the practice of pretending...I can do without them. I'm sure they can find a personality or two that thinks I'm full of shit and the truth is I could care less lol That's the way it usually goes until they need something. People be who you are. Even if it means you will hurt a little more. Even if it means you'll cry or feel the mess. In the end, you will have exercised "you"...the person you've been neglecting the most and that will produce real healing.
My mother used to "out" people like that all the time and she would do it in such a way as if to say "you can be whatever you are around me...I don't care". She would uncover a lie, a mask or impressions people would try to leave her. It was funny at times the reactions she would get after she would say non-chalantly "yeah and I know BUT..." lol She would then proceed to tell these people all she saw in them and usually be spot on. From that moment forward all you got was "them" and no one else. You just couldn't fool her and some people would just stop dealing with her altogether because they didn't want to be what they were around her. She told them what they needed to do at their core. She granted solutions to their problems that required action; action some people don't want to take so they become something else. Folks, it's always easier to be somebody else than it is to be yourself. Especially when everyone seems to want the person you pretend to be. They like it when you get drunk and stupid...makes them laugh. They like it when you talk nasty...makes them horny. They like it when you are the "free, happy go lucky" type because then, with you...anything goes. They want the person they can do anything with and could give a shit about how you feel at your core so long as they get off. What if you're not that? What if you talk a good sex game but are as dry as can be? What if you like to drink but hate getting drunk because of how you act? What if you're really a homebody that likes to go out from time to time but not like the "club kids" do? Problem is that if you are one that needs all to like you, you will become what you despise just to make everyone happy. You will have to prove you are who you say you are. You will have to create several masks for each person that thinks you're "great" when they don't have a clue as to who you really are. It's at these times that unhealthy retreats are created. Created so that you don't have to deal with "you". A "you" that may have dire needs for growth and nurturing. Every time you are someone else, the person that suffers the most...is "you".
I picked that up from my mother and the truth is it has cost me but I could care less. I would rather you hate me for unmasking you than to walk with someone that is lying to me about who they are. You will not like it when after I see you, I "detail" you to your core. You will not like it when after I see you, I offer up solutions for your real "issues". You will not like it because I will always address the "you" that is constant and not the person you are pretending to be at the moment. I will speak to your core and in time you will hate that my solutions for you never change. They don't change because you don't either. Yet one thing is certain and this is the truth. You NEVER have to be anything else but what you are around me and that is worth sticking by even with all the things you hate about it lol I've had people cry to me one day and dismiss me the next because their "friends" were around. They come back when they get tired of wearing the mask that's been suffocating them so long...only to put it back on because they are just not "cool enough" to hang with the crowds if they are themselves. I don't know how many times I've heard the phrase "I feel like I can be myself around you". This is a double-edged sword for me because the people that don't want to see themselves anymore usually wind up cutting me off and I am left standing alone wondering what I did...until I figure it out lol From women to thugs...all the same. People with issues...people. Folks, we all relate when we are who we REALLY are and that is my space. That is my arena. I pull no punches when it comes to what I think because I expect the same in return. So back to the question...
How do people that are clearly f**ked up seem to easily drop something they've been carrying for years? They retreat into the person they were before they picked up what they dropped. Foolishly believing that this will erase all those years of burden. They take up the personalities and masks they had to drop while carrying whatever it was they were carrying...until they are faced with it again. Until the lights go out and they have no one to talk to or impress. When there are no more diversions. The pain is the same and the loss is just as real. There was never any real healing...just a change of clothes. Masking pain through entertainment or diversion. This is something I could never do. I am who I am and I have no masks for anyone so I suffer what I need to suffer until I make it through. This is why you have heard me say repeatedly...I only hang with the "real". They know I see them and they love it. They love it because if I see them and dig them it must mean someone else will too. Now for those that are in the practice of pretending...I can do without them. I'm sure they can find a personality or two that thinks I'm full of shit and the truth is I could care less lol That's the way it usually goes until they need something. People be who you are. Even if it means you will hurt a little more. Even if it means you'll cry or feel the mess. In the end, you will have exercised "you"...the person you've been neglecting the most and that will produce real healing.
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