"it's affection always,
you're gonna see it someday
my attention for you
even if it's not what you need"
Went to the doctors office with someone so she could get an MRI scan...typical stuff. I saw she was nervous so I began to caress her hair. Like I said...typical stuff right? Well...the Russian technician that was doing the IV stopped, looked up at me and said "thank you...really, thank you for that". I'm really perplexed and I look at the person I was with and she looks just as perplexed at this woman's reaction. The lady said "in all my years doing this, it's actually the first time I've seen anyone do that. You almost got me to cry...". I was literally in shock. It just couldn't be. In my household when I was married...this was standard. Not for points but because we believed that this is what you do for the people you cared about. You make them feel "good"...acknowledged and loved. Not just when they're in need of it...but even in those inspired "just because" moments. To hear this woman say that made me think back at the times I had with women and they had all mentioned that I was affectionate like it was something they weren't used to. Like it was something worthy of surprise. I could see this distinction being mentioned at an impromptu kiss or hug but a caress to the hair? Really?
So why the need to mention this? I'm asking yet again...what the f*ck is goin on out here?!? Has everyone decided to "love" on utilitarian terms alone? Is everyone just a f*ck buddy with no heart now? Are her feelings now just for her therapist or is it a situation where "we can't get too close now...God forbid she catches feelings!!!" Listen to me please...if you sharin fluids with someone either emotionally, spiritually or physically...show it. Men, don't be afraid of the labels the merchants peddling shame want to throw at you. I know this is an "issue" these days. Check this, I heard sending someone love letters etc is now considered a negative called "love bombing". That it's a strategy?!? A manipulation tactic?!? Yeah f*ck that looky here now...imma tell you that "I love you" and mean it. Imma send you songs I've thought through and imma write with you in mind and heart. If you think that's "love bombing" then let me know and I'll just stop...all of it. Get it? I am leaning more to the belief that this is the point. Has it dawned on anyone yet that everything a "gentleman" once did for a lady seems to now be deemed suspect? Interesting huh? Well I feel a teachable moment comin on. Allow me to show you how the current zeitgeist works:
Men, you have one male "influencer" tell you "don't be a simp!!" You simplistically translate that as "treat her like sh*t until she crawls". You then you hear a female "influencer" say "too much affection is a red flag!!". You simplistically translate that as "we REALLY want to be treated like sh*t until we crawl". That loop will play on youtube in different iterations until you think you just learned the secret to getting and keeping a woman..."treat her like sh*t...until she crawls". Women...it's the same thing for you. You get the "red flag checklist" and it becomes your bible. Every new "influencer" adds something new that blows your narrow mind. Not ever noticing a simple fact: that EVERYONE is guilty of doing EVERYTHING on the damn checklist...including YOU!!! LOL Now back when I was comin up...we had talk shows promote pseudo-psychology. Well...it stuck like gum at the bottom of our shoes contributing to the moral decay of our society. This generation has "the influencer"...these stick more like a bacon strip on underwear. Both had the ability to do good but when what's good and real stopped leadin in the ratings (or likes)...it usually meant the sensational and outrageous had just started bleedin.
So I ask anyone that believes in any of this junk to remove their head out their ass for five minutes and consider that maybe...just MAYBE, labeling everything a man does for a woman as a negative will deter most men from doing anything at all. Making the destruction of the "fulfilled relationship" a foregone conclusion which in turn leads to the destruction of a potential family. Stop listening to TikTockers/Youtubers. Understand that their appeal rests on the idea that if you heed their advice..."you won't get hurt" and I get it. I've always advocated the back to basics approach. Just take your time. Judge by word & deed yes but keep intent as the qualifier and throw out the one size fits all checklists. You'll be surprised to find that sincere humans are actually nuanced in both word and deed. No matter what you've gone through, don't be afraid to love. Stay hip and wise. Protect your heart through experience, discernment and the wisdom they provide but don't ever shut off all that "real" love flows out of and flows into...including affection. I'm out my beautiful people...
~moses
No comments:
Post a Comment