It's funny how many crazy things a really sold out man will do for love. I'm amazed at all I've done and still contemplate doing sometimes. Some of you might ask "Well, what is a sold out man?" When you are "sold out" there is no one else for you to please. You have volunteered yourself to be bought by the love of your lover. It is a joyful surrender that actually has you thinking about children and growing old together. For this kind of love, you will move mountains if you could. I've been there a couple of times and I can tell you, sometimes all you do is reciprocated and sometimes it isn't. And it doesn't mean a thing to you at first but after a while...you begin to wonder.
I once traveled by bus to some place in the buttfuck panhandle of Florida to see my girlfriend at the time. Coming from NY, it wasn't a straight shot and because I didn't have any money for plane fair, my silly lovesick ass took the bus. No offense to the Greyhound folks but the Greyhound experience is pure shit. Weird ass people you have to constantly keep your eyes on. The smell of urine and the constant transfers that keep you awake. ALL this to see her for about two days. I told her I just wanted to be near her as our relationship was long distance at the time. The time we spent had it's little moments of annoyance but for the most part it was good. I get back home and a few days later I get a call from her and she's giving me hell on the phone! She's drunk and she has to give me the "what for" because her girlfriends juiced her up to "let me know a few things". Fuckin girlfriends...yeah, I said it!!! I'm pacing, yelling back and could still hear the stickiness under my boots from the soda I stepped on in one of the buses...which only frosted me more. That shit lasted half the night. We broke up twice that night lol
Yeah, as a sold out man, I'll do just about anything for love but maybe I'm still afraid of becoming a sold out man again after all that's happened. I must admit though, thoughts of hitchhiking constantly cross my mind.
At least this time it would be a straight shot... ;-)
~Apollo
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