Logistics phase has arrived and I'll admit to being a bit befuddled. I thought I knew what to do but I didn't expect it to be this complicated. Although the outlines are slowly taking shape. It's funny because you can see a middle and sometimes an end but what you seldom see... is how you get there. And more than this... I've come to the realization that (like with so many other things) I alone have seen it all along. I thought a few others shared my vision but to see some get excited now like it was never really true for them TILL now is cool... but a bit of an eye opener. Am I surprised? Not that much. I've already learned that lesson so believe me it's cool. It's just that I have seen where it will be both bittersweet and sweet... both scary and exciting and how at some point... an order of divine freedom will abound. That easy take on life and love that I've been longing for will be mine. What is unclear is with who and where but that might just be the exciting part... finding out :-) I rule nothing out because I know how things can easily go. Something new can arise out of nowhere and what you think has gone can somehow return. Though uncertain... everything is on the table...
Yet in all this uncertainty... one thing remains certain. What I spoke in my last post to that one particular person (sorry if you all didn't understand that) remains applicable to all those I have loved and promised to be there for. Yes... I need to rest but duty and love... is duty and love. I can not fail in this regard. Yes, that even applies to those that think we're on the "outs"... I'm not petty like that. I think I've proven that much throughout the years but I digress. Been through the ringer these past few months and that is the best indication of one thing: "where sin (evil, trial, testing) abounds... grace (blessings, promise, fulfillment) abounds even more". The greater the test, the greater the blessing that follows. Which means, that for me... "life" is about to begin renewed. I am more than ok with that ;-)
For those that have wondered about me that have made their way onto the heaviness of my heart... rest assured that I am ok. Turns out that the speed of my recovery may have triggered a flutter that required a procedure be done on my heart. Oddly enough? It feels like I'm "enhanced" in some way. Very hard to explain and I don't think most understand when I try to so... I just won't lol It just feels "different". I actually had to sit with it for awhile before accepting some things about it. It's like attaining the ability to fly but deciding to walk instead. Until I understand it better... I'm walkin just fine. So now, I'm on to things I've been neglecting. It's about time I iron out all my other wrinkles of health I've ignored for far too long. I've got a journey ahead of me that I can not afford to half-step.
So folks, if there is anything I'd like you to glean from this rambling update it's this: Prepare yourselves for change. A shift is coming. A shift in the form of a fork is about to take place (find out what that means). Bring up your health, keep tabs on those you love and study the "weather patterns" as they shift. I'm out my loves... be at peace. My love ever goes with you...
~moses apollo
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