ok, i'm gonna touch on something that might cause some of you to clutch your pearls. i'm actually hoping for a "well!!...i never!!" but that's overshooting because it's an 80's thing. a man can dream though. ok...you ready?
folks...there IS a difference between sailing...& steering an engine powered boat. damn right i said it!! sadly because not everyone has the experience, the "basic" will claim it's the same thing & come to foolishly trivialize the majesty of "riding the wind" & those that desire to experience such a thing.
if i described the feeling of releasing the sails to catch the wind you feel on your skin, what imagery does that conjure in your mind? no doubt what you've seen on tv or what you've read or even heard about from others but to experience this yourself is a whole nother matter. it's something that requires all of your attention & if i were to wax poetic, i'd even go so far as to say...it's an exchange of energy between you & mother nature herself. so no, it is NOT the same as steering an engine powered boat & if you think so & insist upon this, then for you...your boating experience will always be limited to getting from point A to point B. an experience you can get driving your Volvo with the windows down...on a windy day. functional, important & "cool" in a Manilow-esque kind of way...but basic & mundane.
ok now...take what you've just read & replace the word "sailing" with "making love" & the words "steering an engine powered boat" with "having sex"...uh oh!! some of you "ethereals" and/or "keepin it real" folk will want to use "coupling" for "making love" and/or "f*cking" for "having sex". whatever floats your boat...i'm easy. back to it...
from all i've seen, most folk that ARE physically engaging (tearin one off to pornhub doesn't count) are having sex but VERY few...are actually making love. why? they simply don't know the difference. they believe they are because it's all they've ever really experienced & have convinced themselves there is no difference between the two. they've come to accept that "busting a nut" is all that matters. oh it definitely matters...but what makes it matter slightly less? when there's real connection & HERE is where the difference lay. it's the difference between doing something TO someone & doing something WITH them or even...FOR them. where even the quality of the "bust" is actually enhanced...
it's "connection" that makes ALL the difference in the world. the sharing of an energy that is both mental & even spiritual (NOT the same thing) manifesting itself in the physical is an experience that is never "cookie cutter" or "one size fits all". it's a symbiosis of unique vibration that makes it's own music. where ALL of you & ALL of her is intertwined into something you trust losing yourself in the moment to. sounds both poetic & magical yeah? well...it is. look, this might be hard to believe, but i dig busting a nut as much as the next man & sometimes, your woman's gonna want just that but after having experienced truly making love, i have chosen to seek in any potential partner a versatility that can handle both & for that...there MUST be true connection.
believe it or not, this is why i can count all my sexual partners on two hands. i "vet" ad nauseum to find this & it ain't always a straight line. i seek this yes, but i seek this only once connection is established because i believe connection takes care of all the rest. to make this clear: "lover" is NOT synonymous with "slut". even if society has blurred that line...i have not & neither should you.
i realize "the times" have caused many to accept what once was deemed "settling" in such matters of depth. where "surface" is enough in this area so long as other boxes are checked off but in my experience, both men & women that have done this eventually come to a place of shock when they realize they can no longer deny the truth...that they've "settled" in an area they thought unimportant. something they've denied to press on. it can cause feelings of resentment & inadequacy later on & they eventually come to seek out those that have not "settled" (internally and/or externally)...even at the expense of risking all they have. why? because they fell for the "it's not that important" bullsh*t. again...something that is only true if you've never tasted the fullness of it all.
folks, it should never be an easy thing to choose a partner, mate, companion or even "a buddy" as things will shift depending on your circumstances or where you are along your journey but know this: a square is a square & should be treated as such. to entreat it as if it were a circle is an unsustainable situation that will lead to disappointment. in all your "vetting"...short change nothing you know you will need to make it work. watch them as they choose what path they would take unpressured. sometimes, you will find that what you were willing to bring to the table is not what they wanted or needed after all. be fine with it. not only because you love them but because you may have just saved yourselves some potential grief. so let the "mate" be a mate, let the "partner" be a partner. i've been a few of these & in each case, after real connection was established, what was important to me remained so & it still does to this day. pickings are slim & it don't look like things are getting any better in this society but i refuse to water down the truth that is the fullness of my passion...but then again...that's just me.
~moses apollo
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