Back Again...

Here in this space where thoughts are clear.  A place with no audience except for those with needs to know.  Where I should stay and express my heart without fear or intent except to find someone that will listen...myself.  Someday words will be as gold and silver...a rarity rich in truth.  May mine find some value in your soul...

~Moses Apollo

My Beautiful Contradiction - A Poem by Moe

Surrendered hands face heavens depth
Seeks that His holy face
Close enough to taste her breath
And feel her hot embrace

On bended knee to kiss His feet
To show his felt devotion
On twisted knee to taste the sweet
Of her and face her ocean

His glory worship songs to sing
To reach beyond the skies
To lay beneath the one to bring
The glory twixt her thighs

Oh Lord I pray to serve you both
What pain in my desire
For love she meets all sacred oath
Through flame and Holy fire

~Moses Apollo

The Thought Of You - A Poem by Moe

Soft winds that conduct the chimes to sing
the whispered lyrics to a love song
This warmth that sets behind closed eyes at sunrise
moving trickled tears that dry by nightfall

Wisdom that finds conclusion in contemplative silence
desperate to articulate the beauty of the moon
And the tones of birdsong in the morning
slowly moving further into the distance of my longing

Such beautiful longing that holds no graceful resolution
staying to linger under pains of want
Unsatisfied, yet modified and made to last longer
in such hunger deemed foreplay to my heart

This my love...is the thought of you

~Moses Apollo

Phoenix Fallen...

Ugly duckling grows up with the notion that because she was deemed a "4" on an artificial scale, that for the sake of her self-esteem, she should only allow the courting of "3"'s or less. This way, she falsely believed, she would never have to suffer insecurity issues. What she never understood was how much this superficial practice actually cemented her insecurity as opposed to conquering it. Fast forward...same ugly duckling has now become a swan and is now deemed an "8" on the same artificial scale yet still sees the need to date those beneath her using the same scale as a metric. She thinks such a man will do anything to be with her. That he will be loyal and generous beyond the norm. That she can somehow exact some power over him for the sake of her own "safety". Little does this insecure individual know...that insecurity breeds the same. This so-called "4" could never understand how this so-called "8" could ever be with him and him alone. She receives accolades from men that he doesn't receive from women and she somewhat revels in this...advancing what she believes to be her "grasp to power". Being all too human, doubt creeps into his mind and his own insecurities make him possessive and jealous. He now makes her life a living hell. So much for that scale...

Folks, she used an artificial scale to find self-validation and in turn, used the same scale to validate others. A scale that cannot measure what will always remain a constant source of true pride or real shame...the soul. The man or woman that knows who and what they are inside have no patterns or scales wherewith to measure the value of an individual. Why? Because they understand that if their own inner complexity has too many variables to quantify on a simple scale, then so it is with almost everyone else. Your outer shell has an eventuality of decay but your heart will always have the ability to find new reasons to live, to laugh and to love...I'm out...

~Apollo

My Insufficient...

The man can remember himself as a youth burdened by the weight of guilt from the humanity he wore every second of every day. A guilt that made him feel unworthy to speak the Promise. A guilt that dragged his knuckles across a pavement of broken glass so that his hands could never be raised for purpose. Yet on this day, His Lord spoke with the fiercest tone he's ever heard. Pointing at a young woman high on crack in the very next room He said to him "go and pray for her..." to which the young man responded "I do not dare do such a thing!!" and with a finger pointed at the young man's face, his Lord spoke even louder..."PRAY FOR HER NOW!!!". This young man filled with doubt went to pray for this girl and saw the glory of his Lord manifest before his eyes.

As he walked home perplexed and puzzled, his Lord came to walk beside him and said nothing for quite some time. About halfway home, the Lord stopped him and said "Listen to me VERY clearly son: I don't need your righteousness. You have none I can use so I gave you my own. All I need is YOU..." It was then that he was finally "realized"

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather boast in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Yeah...something like that ;-)

~Moses

My Incomplete - A Poem by Moe

Ignite for me that flame
My witness in the dark
Guide me to your name
Renew once more my mark

The mark left on your soul
That promise incomplete
For heart of mine you stole
That yours and mine should meet

Crossroads went uncrossed
And time she carried on
But what I thought was lost
Has never seen it's dawn

So heart seeks place to dwell
And mind it lingers free
Such stillness fills my well
Till witness calls to me

~Moses Apollo

A Woman I Call Mother Went Home - August 13th 2015

Today, one of my greatest heros has gone home. My spiritual mother, Rev Rosalina Colon...has passed. I am saddened for her family...her children, her grand children and her great grand children. I can feel the weight of their heavy loss from miles away. Yet at the same time I am as a proud man that has watched someone he loves run a triathlon and finally make it to the finish line to receive that long awaited trophy in the long awaited place, in the long awaited Arms of our Lord. A trophy, a place and a Lord that we would speak about for hours without end under a cloud of joy that human words fail to aptly describe. So for me, my tears are a weighted mix of thick sorrow along side an unspeakable pride. Without this unassuming power house of a woman, there would be no me as I am and it is an acknowledgment that I make without lip service. The day she and her family moved into the apartment directly above mine, I had no idea my life would change as much as it did. She was the first to see a potential in me that I have not yet realized but have seen steadily manifest as time progresses. What she saw in me will stay with me forever as a testament to who and what I really am. She did this for many souls. I witnessed many souls that came and went to sit under her to learn what the power of God was really about. Souls that today could never deny the existence of God no matter what their state in life. Souls that I know have influenced greats. You see we all learn the "letter of the Word" but the truth is that it is the "Spirit of the Word" that cements it's life and that was her essence that stayed with us. I came to understand "relationship" as opposed to religion. A daily walk as opposed to the once a week meal at service. A talk as opposed to just prayer. I knew about these things but I never opened up to them until her. My love for this woman has no words as she is truly one of my greatest heros...and this will always remain true.

So today, I ask for no condolences for me but for her family. I ask for no words of comfort as my comfort comes in knowing that she is finally with her Lord. Pray for her family, pray that what was deposited in them double in strength as it must. So may God bless Sinai, Nain, Abdias, Jorge and their children. I know they will make it through and not just that...they will be everything their mother saw they would become. So with pride I call her mother, mentor, teacher and friend. Again, it will always be so...

Each of us has a message to our life and hers was profoundly simple: Some will see the flash of greatness and ride the tsunami. They will be seen and heard as great but before them came the unseen. These are the very first to throw that pebble in the pond that eventually becomes that Tsunami. The ones that step out in faith to receive no praise or recognition. They are the ones that started it all by simply trusting in the Power behind the pebble...these are the greatest champions of them all. This was my spiritual mother...The Rev Rosalina Colon

~Moses

My Home...

On one side of the abyss there is the primal, on the other...the heavenly. Too many have chosen to make camp on either coast. Neglecting the most important element...the human element that stands above the abyss itself. The very element that deciphers what has value within each coast. The same element that needs both to do more than just survive. It is my undefined essence that bridges the gap between the primal and the heavenly allowing me access and relatability to both. This gap deemed our inner "flyover country". So I stand here above the abyss watching folk draw the wrong lines in the sand. I make camp in my "flyover country"...alone but never lonely. Too much of a boy scout to make camp with the "primals" and too much of a sinner to make camp with the "heavenlies". Where then do I belong? The only answer I have is..."not here"...

~Moses Apollo

A Letter To Moe From "J"

Hey Moses,

Now, don't go giving me that "call me Moe" stuff. You were born Moses so that's what I call you lol Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering why I would write this letter to you since we talk most of the time but I really just wanted you to share this anyway you could. It's an issue that seems to go unspoken because people feel I'm too stupid or naive to notice. You know I'm good natured, good hearted and of course, ehem...humble (lol) so why would it matter anyway? Well it matters Moses because I can hurt just like anyone else and I can feel just as used as anyone else.

Now you know all about the bomb shelter I have. It's big enough and equipped enough to hold many people and since we've spoken about this and since I've shown you the place already, I won't go into many details but you already know it's solid. Yet here is what gets me about it: Every single time there's supposed to be some cataclysmic event, people I don't hear from in months or years for that matter, all of a sudden want to know how I am. They want to come by and they want to talk. They ask me questions about survival techniques and pretend to be interested in things I'm interested in. All this somehow predicated under the delusion that the guy with the bomb shelter doesn't follow global events LOL It's amazing Moses!!! I mean you know how this irks me and I can't just follow your advice and cut them off. It's just not in my nature. I would take who comes but man...it just makes me feel like I'm only good for the "stuff" I can give but just not good enough to chill with. Once the crises is over, I don't even hear from these people anymore until the next crises rears it's ugly head. They move on to "cooler" friends...whatever that means. I mean what's cooler than an underground hidden bunker with all the trimmings bro? I make MacGyver look like an idiot boy child! lol Ugh!!! Anyway man, I just had to vent that. You know I don't mind people asking me for safety but be real about it you know? The relationship you and I have is complicated but we know where we stand with one another. That's all I want. I want people to keep it real and above board you know? Just don't treat me like I'm too stupid or naive to notice I'm being played for the sake of safety. Anyway, vent over...I'll go back to being my gracious self yet again lol Talk to you later...thanks for listening and sharing this...

Your Friend
"J"

Just Breathe - A Poem by Moe

This smoke is subtle smooth
Deep seeped in subtle truth
Breath soft off lips secure
To rise, cascade while staying sure

For what is mine is mine for now
More than why or what but how
Formed to drift inside for life
Calming tempered cold and strife

Such kiss that's meant to reach
A fitting air that's sent to teach
That love is more than simply shown
It's ours to breathe...but never own

Just breathe...

~Moses