"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" Matthew 5:3
The rich man has everything handed to him. He has no need to move. He can sit still for the rest of his life and never worry. He can buy his strength...even though it would weaken him. He's happy...
The poor man must scrape everyday for his existence. He finds meaning and purpose in every dollar he earns. The gas bill, the night's meal and the winter coat for his boy. His check is gone...until the next one. He's not...
Who will live longer? Who will be stronger?
Figure it out ;-)
~Apollo
My spirit is "poor" in perpetuity...even if wealth should take hold
Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. The serpent drags across the earth. Seemingly vulnerable...seemingly weak. Yet the serpent studies his prey. He knows all vulnerability. He knows where to strike to cause the most damage and his venom is meant to immobilize and sometimes...even kill. The dove is beautiful and his domain is the sky. White and pleasing to the eye. There is no danger to him and he is revered as the symbol of peace. The "end to war and battle"...mercy... What is the man that masters the where and the when? What is the man that can war to the end, self-assured of victory, that can show mercy when wisdom lets him know it will be more effective? He is unstoppable. Loved and feared... Honored and despised...all at the same time... That is a free man What fear and joy is there when you begin to see the beginnings of such a creature emerging within... ~Moses AKA "No One"
What does it mean to see? To really "see"? What does it take for someone to absorb the reality of all that surrounds them without truly going insane?
I'm gonna tell you...
Gnostics are supposed to be the ultimate truth of Christianity. They are supposed to lead the faithful to the fullness of what is called the "Christ". Yeah OK...
I have waged intellectual battles with all "faiths" when I took on the role of apologist but none challenged me more than the Gnostic. Why? Because I was approached with a challenge..."You think you have the whole truth but you really don't...". A gauntlet that weighed on me...heavy for an answer to this cocky little prick. One I picked up in fear and one that taught me the greatest lesson I would ever learn.
Gnosis is the Greek word for "science". It is referenced by Paul in his first letter to Timothy as "the falsely so-called gnosis" that has ensnared those zealous for the truth. In other words, this new doctrine was appealing to seekers of truth because it was supposed to offer them the secrets of Christ's power. It offered more than just belief. It offered them a supposed formulaic "hidden truth" that would endow them with the power of miracles, healing and immortality. Something truth seekers would have no choice but to look into. When confronted I must admit...it scared the shit out of me. What if all I had believed was wrong? What if this was the truth? My stubborn pride said "fuck it, let's find out". It literally took about two days to unravel this shit to nothing.
I found out that the so-called "Gospels" they relied on were written well after Christ's disciples had passed on. In other words, they were "inspired". Unlike Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, they held no eyewitness account. It was empty. This is what they referenced to produce "The Last Temptation Of Christ". Everytime you hear about a "new discovery that will rock Christianity", it is usually a Gnostic text that contradict the four gospels we have. I could site references but that is not what this post is about. At the time of the warning by Paul, they had no scripture but held to ideas inspired by "Simon the Magus" who incidentally died when he told his 12 disciples to bury him and dig him up in 3 days. Unlike Christ, he never revived lol
My journey through this one was spiritually taxing but once again, the truth solidified my freedom to faith. Truth based in logic. Please understand that even "ancient discoveries" can be produced by liars and just like the liars of the day, they are meaningless. The Bible is as solid as they come. It has stood the test of Archaeology and history. Tried in the realm of "science" only to further validate it's foundation. Today, detractors seem to want to ignore all that has been discovered and rely on the fact that people are lazy when it comes to information. In other words, no one will think to challenge their thesis. I could say anything I want today and so long as I stick a PHD next to my name, all I say will be considered incontestable. I am no respecter of persons. I don't give a shit what title you hold. If you're full of shit, you're full of shit...and I will be calling you on it.
Now, back to my Gnostic experience...
He said I could only know if I came to his meeting. They had "the truth". They alone had the secrets to the universe. After my two days in insanity, I came and told him all he believed and it shook him. You see, I wasn't supposed to know the truth. I took all I immersed myself in at the extremity of the pendulum and came back to my center to examine it all. Had I stayed in that extreme, I would have been overtaken by confusion. Why do some people go insane? It is because they get lost within the extreme. These are the people that see black helicopters everywhere buzzing around above the tin foil hats they wear. Those people get lost in the maze called "conspiracy" because they decided to remain in the extreme, adopting it's nature of confusion. No people, understand that within every extreme, there are huge potholes of error. You are "centered" when you have the ability to see the errors. This loosens "conspiracy's" grip allowing you to see from the outside in. This is how you process extremes. You never allow them to take hold.
In politics and life, there are two extremes and a center. As God is triune, so are we. Our spirit wants only good, our flesh only wants for itself and our soul executes the choice between the two. Some get lost in the flesh and some get lost in the spirit and the truth is we must be fully aware of where our direction is coming from. Your soul will ask why and if you are strong enough, you will visit each side to get to know them better. This will allow you to make an informed decision. All this takes place in a matter of seconds but if you know yourself you will take that extra minute and make the right choice. This process allows you to never take anything at face value. It demands information and for this information, one must visit areas of depth that can overtake the soul. It's like diving into water to see what's below and never coming up for air. All that surrounds you is water. Sometimes the water is littered with feces and other times, it's adorned by underwater beauty. Come up for air and you will be able to see there is way more than what's beneath the surface...there is a sky.
I doused myself in the flesh and came to the conclusion that I was an alcoholic. When I finally came up for air I came to find that the only thing wrong with me was insomnia. I did everything to get myself to sleep. Even going so far as to take antidepressants which made me believe I was a junkie. Nope, I just wanted to sleep. I came up only to understand how far I could go before I broke. I now manage all self expectation with the benefit of wisdom. I found out what my strengths were and decided to cultivate them. What was needed to compensate for weakness.
Examine who you are at extremes. Take that pendulum to the extremities of the dark side and the light but just make sure to never stay there. Come up for air...come to your "senses" and don't ever forget...
Sometimes people will ask you to sit on the passenger side so that you could read the signs as they drive. They ask you this to avoid distractions or accidents. No problem right? You oblige. Do you know what happens when they get sick of your voice? They will tell you "I can read, shut the fuck up". What to do in that situation...hmmm.
Open the door, jump out and get back on your own road. Let them read their own fuckin signs...
I listen to music without words. Where there is no need for outside influence to my interpretation of it's beauty. I can imagine flight. I can feel passion. I can see flame and hear the laughter. My approach is the dream every artist has for the listener. To see themselves in the pieces they produce.
All my views come to me in silence. Affording me the time needed to chew, to digest and when all is fully processed...to regurgitate all I see. All without the distraction of argument. This is how bare truth comes to light.
You want to know the truth of what's going on in the world around you? Seek it out without the aid of influence in either direction. Judge for yourself why presidents lie. Why populations steal. Look at all the pieces on the chessboard without the scheming whisper of agenda...even your own.
Throw away the newspaper. Turn off your TV and ride the information superhighway that is graciously at your disposal. Chew all you've seen. Digest it awhile. Process it fully and when your done, stand your ground in the knowledge you have acquired. When your ready, turn on your TV and get ready to throw up. The disgust I feel for all these hucksters we put our trust in is astounding. What's even worse are the masses that regurgitate without even knowing why. They rest on a phrase handed them by the agenda driven without ever knowing if it's true or not.
And to speak plain...
If you are losing your insurance and are surprised, I have no sympathy for you. If you are stunned that this great country of ours has lost the respect of our allies and the fear of our enemies, you should be ashamed of yourself. You held up your sticker of "Hope and Change" with pride and pulled your lever with the certainty of a child. If I knew it was bullshit...you should've known too...
Stop being intellectually lazy. Wake the fuck up...
When the time comes, I will pen all I have seen with the brutality of an accomplished assassin...but not yet...
~Apollo
PS:
My days and nights of artistry have been put on hold that I may be able to build my 12X12 encasing without distraction. It is just as equally a labor of love as is my passion. I have cut off one ear...I still have one left...
We all have roads we choose to travail. Where we meet our destination with disappointment when we find out that what we were expecting doesn't materialize. I've gone up many roads to my designated spot expecting to find someone there only to turn back when they weren't. It's nothing new for me.
It takes trust for that but trust wears thin when it happens one too many times. So then?...
My roads now take me to the halfway points of a measured goal. These cannot disappoint. They pass or fail at my own hand. They are mine and no one else's. If I get there and find I was wrong then the only disappointment is on me. That other shit sucks and leaves you with unanswered questions. Thoughts that years could never silence. Hurt that you couldn't foresee. Every time I'm unsure about a thing, I focus on my road and leave some wiggle room for a pleasant surprise...
I can remember a sixteen year old. Devoted to God and all that came with such devotion. He would stand up alone if he had to change things he knew were wrong...and it would always cost him.
He fondly remembers the fellowship of a choir, anointed by the Spirit. Not because of the sweet sounds they were endowed with but because every rehearsal had turned into a "one step closer to God" session and God, as a result, found favor with every performance. They sang for Him and to Him alone. God visited every song with grace. He can vividly remember the first note of "Amazing Grace" flowing like water upon the masses and God's anointing producing inevitable success. Success that would soon fuel the foolish pride of all those involved.
This sixteen year old and a few dear friends saw the peril of it and thought to speak out in an open meeting. Before the meeting, he counted the heads of the brave and found them few but he went ahead anyway. He stood up in a meeting of about 40 and voiced his concern only to be ridiculed and challenged by the leader. When asked, "Is there anyone else that agrees with you?", he said yes but would not point them out. The leader challenged the group directly and asked "Who else agrees with him?!?!" The young man only said "To stand or not...it's up to them". The young man could see peripherally his very dear friend who just minutes prior had said would back him up...lower his head in fear and shame. The young man left the choir that day and dusted his feet in protest. He knew that in most things, he would only have God's backing...and although it may be lonely at times, it would be enough.
The following week's meeting produced several more like him. He would hear that they stood up one by one to voice their concerns. That the desire to grow in number and fame was taking the place of the silent fellowship they had developed with the Creator that made it all possible. The leader would not listen and in time, the choir would disband. The young man would take no pleasure in being right. He was only grieved that the warnings were never heeded and the hurt he felt that day would fester throughout his life.
He would face several trials like this. He would challenge authority when no one else would and at 34, it all came full circle. He was commissioned to go to Bahrain as a "Person In Charge" on board several dredging vessels. It was a figurehead position but he didn't take it lightly. He went to work just as he had on all the other vessels he had worked on. Yet he began to see injustice all around him. The Filipinos, the Africans and the Indians would work like slaves for a fifth of the pay the American workers earned. They were housed like cattle in rooms while the Americans all had flats in the major cities. It was a disgrace. He befriended most of the crew and when it came time to rectify a small matter for one of the hardest working Filipinos there, he was told it wasn't any of his business and he should keep quiet. He heard it directly from the big boss himself. The man gloated about the fact he could fire and treat these workers anyway he wanted without account. The man quietly seethed inside and for the rest of his time there...he would openly rebel.
He flaunted his friendships and freedom among the "bigs". He would go out every night and show up whenever he felt like it. The crew protected him as much as they could...something else he would revel in. Eventually, the big boss tried to make his stay there miserable and the man just responded with a dismissive chuckle. Here was someone that wasn't afraid of him. Here was someone that scoffed at his nickname "terminator" and there was shit all "terminator" could do about it. He needed his figurehead. This would finally end once need of him was over and that's when the blowup happened. No one really knew what fueled his rebellion but he had to make a point to everyone. Your dignity is worth more than a paycheck...as is your manhood.
They met one night on the bridge of a ship. Big boss thought it prudent to threaten the man with a finger pointed at his face and the man lost it. All he could see was big boss's blood on his hands and in controlled anger, he told big boss all that needed saying. Going so far as to call big boss a piece of shit to his face for thinking he was god in a foreign land. Again, the leader wouldn't listen. This "terminator" fearfully stood behind a few men and arranged the man's flight home. Later, the man would come to find out that his friend, that had been treated like garbage as well, was received like a dignitary on his return trip to Bahrain. Meals, a driver and freedom were at his disposal. They couldn't afford another loss so they treated him like the king he was. The man told his friend what happened and his friend, rightfully milked it for all it was worth. His friend told him that witnesses had said they really thought they were about to witness a murder. No people, I stand true to my words...self control measures a man's worth. Moses...is worth a lot.
In time, big boss was demoted to a desk job and many that oversaw the garbage that went on were sent home without pay. And so it went...full circle.
Years later, it still haunts him. Resentment in a cocktail of righteous indignation fuels his desire to return with rank and wisdom. Just as Moses returned to Egypt in the office of the Prophet, this Moses has a keen focus to return in an office he has been carved out into. This is not about a dream...it is about purpose and design...
