Y estoy en necesidad. Quiero absolutotamente nada... Lo tengo todo y no lo sabia y aunque lo tenga todo...quiero de ti...todavia quiero de ti. Me ensenaste tu cara...quiero de ti. Me ensenaste tu corazon...quiero de ti. Me ensenaste tu cuerpo...y todavia quiero de ti...
Ultimamente...quiero de la cual no ha tenido. La que me quiere a mi tambien...quiero de ti...
Tocar tu cara con mis labios, tocar tu cuerpo con mis manos y tocar tu corazon con el mio...quiero de ti...
Well what do I say about Millie. What can I say that I haven't written countless times or recanted to friends and lovers alike about the mother of my children. One of the greatest loves of my life. This woman has seen me grow into the man I am...largely due to our love. She took it all...the good, the bad and the ugly. We earned our place beside each other and she is one person I would trust with my life. I have found none to match her strength, honor and sense of self-worth. Something that is a rare among humans today. I am blessed to have loved her with true passion, blessed to have seen her grow into the woman she is, blessed that she carries my name, blessed to have fathered her children and blessed that today, I can call her friend...even still.
Take a good look folks. THIS is what I call...a woman...
Happy birthday babe...may our Lord continue to shine upon you and make this new year a springboard into great things.
When I set out this road to single-dom I had no idea what it would take to be "single". I really thought it would be easy. I thought I'd just be able to pull a switch and turn into someone that didn't think about consequence or another person's feelings. I find myself now looking back at hearts I've left behind. Beautiful souls that stay with me still but sadly know that I will never be more than what I am to them right now. Some are okay with it, others...not so much.
Today's single life demands that you not give a sh*t about feelings, age or maturity. You have to get "it" wherever and whenever you can. With whomever is available and half-way decent. Diseases and mental issues are an afterthought; two things a condom and a 3AM escape will fix right up. A mindset that is no mindset. It's just the "now" attitude that is driven by a selfish desire without thought or reservation. It is something a man or woman of conscience has a very difficult time with and I for one, refuse to sucumb. I am very far from being a prude yet there are boundaries I will not cross. My cup carries so much in it that I will always be in a position "to know better" and being the man that I am...to that I will stay true.
To some my way will be counted as "old" or "outdated" but I could give a sh*t. I live and breathe in a world called "responsibility". It's a grown up world where you live on your own. You take care of yourself and those you are responsible for. You carry lives on your shoulders making them like boulders strong enough to take on anything thrown at you. It's a world where you are held accountable for your actions...now...or even later. It's a world of men and women that do what they must to live as honorably as they can. At most...in character. It's what keeps our children looking up to us. It's what makes our parents proud. It's what you admire...
I choose to live eternally as a man of honor than to exchange it for anything temporal...even if I seem to "miss out"...later
Just one year ago he slept beside the one he thought would be the love of his life. Now to reach over and find "empty" as the night air carries a sound...even a silence. Even a whisper of "good night, I love you". There is no hate in his heart, nor is there sadness. Only the memory of moments in the Fall. Where he savored the idea that he could love this one so much. Where he finally came to realize that whatever moments he had left with her...had to mean something. Where he knew...they had an end...
"Night air growing cold
His solice getting old Yet pride's left to deceive
This man he faced reflection
Heard sweetly laced inflection
Of she who had to leave..."
There she is...that flame untamed by wisdom and all manner of "right". She taunts and haunts me at night when I'm alone...stripped down to the bone. Thirsty for water, hungry for food. That aimless desire that dictates my mood. Awake to feel as I heal from everything dead. Her color? Red and black but sometimes white only cause it "feels" right...doesn't make it so. I grow to know this flame has no name or face to place the chase it generates...but I look anyway. I am a fool.
The road to her is boundless within boundaries, unlimited within limits and undying...among the dead.
Awesome words to me...words of my father. Words I have used on my own children for years. My two boys and their lives outshine any and all manner of storm that comes my way. Their hearts and how they feel put into proper perspective all the little bullsh*t that causes me pain. All that sh*t fades in the light of my ultimate calling..."father". I remember why I never cry over spilt milk. They jar my memory to recollect that there are so many more important things in life that require my energy and attention. Being a good father is top among them. We try so hard as parents not to repeat the mistakes of our own but my father didn't make many and I truly thank my God for such a gift. Tonight, I thank God so much that he gave me someone that showed me how to be there for my own. Not just to be someone that makes sure they have a meal every night but much more than just that...someone they could always turn to. Someone that offers guidance without judgement. Truth is I could never judge my own because doing so means I would judge myself. As young as I am, my memory is still fresh as to how stupid I was at their age lol How could I judge them for being just like their dad lol My babies are growing up and I remain a proud father...even when they fail. I am raising men...to be men. It is truly an awesome endeavor. Wow...
This is one of the main reasons I always say..."I am 37 going on 65" ;-)
