"Like Water", She Said...

"...imagine a love so..."

she would step outside her lake house with her favorite cup in hand to pour him out into the water... whispering something sweet into her cupped hand every time she did. "till next time my love"... she would whisper with her eyes tenderly shut. misty-eyed in a cloud of sadness... but with a sense of purpose at heart every time. knowing... it's where he needed to be to continue being the soul she fell in love with. after the last drop fell from her beautiful hand, in an instant, she would dive in to transform into water herself as she was in fact... the same. she never knew it until she met him... & although the time they spent together was better served as transients... their love would only grow stronger as time passed on, whether they swam alone or in another's cup. always reforming at a lake house when the want called to them. to talk, to walk & to bed... to live, to hold & to love.

oh how he loved that he could be everything he needed to be with her. with or without the ownership most found safety in, he was certain of her love & desire for him & for her it was the same. it was always clear from both their ends. always speaking plain of their love & desire for each other without fear or the gamesmanship that plagued the day. they could be who they were & it was that openness that kept everything fresh & living. loving like poets... unafraid to feel the pain of longing or the risk of hurting over loss. trusting their hearts & what they meant to each other. it was just... "easy" & in their love, what was deemed temporal found a home in the eternal.

"like water" she said. here one day, one week or even one month... gone the next, but always sweetly tethered & ready to refit into any configuration through the force of love alone. meeting every time like it was the first time. like old friends needing to catch up in every way imaginable... picking up exactly where they left off like no time had passed at all. it was magic & the "meant to be" you just couldn't reason away. where the morrow held no sway & the moment had its way... it was love. and so it went...

"but alas... this is just a story... or is it?"

~moses apollo

Pools Of Sorrow, Waves Of Joy...

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.

They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind.

Possessing and caressing me..."

I find myself very tired tonight... but I can finally see a quantifiable finish line. One that means the beginning of a new chapter... a chapter that will allow me to begin prepping for projects whose end will see projects of their own. A chapter that will allow me to sail free on the wind. Yet not the kind of wind so many have been deceived and ultimately dejected by... the reckless, aimless, empty kind. No, but the kind of wind that has purpose, meaning and engenders the truest, purest passion that speaks into the depths of body & soul. Choosing to live without settling, to love beyond the boundaries imposed by men and to sail into destinations that have no set course. To love my family, my loves and passion. All the while standing upright before my Lord... whose has made the heart I have possible in a world now alien to it.

In melancholic tones, to say "goodbye" or "see you later"... will no longer be up to me. I just know one or the other will be said to quite a few in different ways. For those who may say "well you've said this before"... I have and to those I say "I guess you'll just have to find out on your own" ;-) No, with more pieces getting added to the puzzle, I know it's almost time... much love my beautiful people.

~moses apollo

PS: Just an FYI, I'll be posting a "final" piece when it's time folks :-)

Private Emotion...

 

Every endless night has a dawning day

Every darkest sky has a shining ray

And it shines on you, baby, can't you see

You're the only one who can shine for me

It's a private emotion that fills you tonight

And a silence falls between us

As the shadows steal the light

And wherever you may find it

Wherever it may lead

Let your private emotion come to me

(Come to me, come to me)

Come to me

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak

Do you think of love as a one way street

Well, it runs both ways, open up your eyes

Can't you see me here, how can you deny, oh

It's a private emotion that fills you tonight

And a silence falls between us

As the shadows steal the light

And wherever you may find it

Wherever it may lead

Let your private emotion come to me

(Come to me, come to me)

Every endless night has a dawning day

Every darkest sky has a shining ray

It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by

But you can find me here 'til your tears run dry

That's a private emotion that fills you tonight

And a silence falls between us

As the shadows steal the light

And wherever you may find it

Wherever it may lead

Let your private emotion come to me

Let your private emotion come to me

Let your private emotion come to me

Come to me, come to me

~ricky martin

...

All Over Again...

there are songs that grace my ears

there are scents that ride the breeze

there are whispers that reverberate my soul 

they all remind me of you

consider the comfort of dew... how it greets the fields in the morning. 

consider the glory of dawn... how it blesses the sky in radiant design. 

consider the beauty of you... how you fill my hearts days & nights with joy by your existence alone...

in all that is lovely... i find the outline of your beautiful face...

and with a smile in a restless heart, 

i come to miss you all over again...

~moses apollo 

What He Will Be...

An easy night... a silent hush fell over him as he picked up his guitar and lit up a freshly scented candle that rested upon his glass side table. As he began to play, he had nothing on his mind but the moment in which he found himself... alone in a setting designed for lovers. A setting that inspired the artistic bohemian side of himself... and anyone else that entered felt the same. As he played, his phone buzzed on a text message from one of his "friends". "I'm coming over" was all she said. Surprising to him because she told him she'd be going out that night with a man that would shower her with gifts and time but apparently not much else. Texting one more time: "I have to see you". "OK" was his only response...

You see, he knew that this was his life but he really couldn't fully grasp it. He just knew that in his mind, there was no evil or malice in it as most might judge there to be. He almost felt like he was in service to women that deserved a night of passion or even a moment of solace. A well-earned moment of abandon for women that for the most part lived right and did right by many in life. Women that just needed to be desired, set free and allowed to be as wild as the moment inspired without judgment. Women... most men would be afraid to approach. He just couldn't understand "why him". In his heart he knew that the confusion he felt was never a self-esteem issue but moreso a "this is an uncommon thing" issue. He honestly never knew if this was a blessing or a curse. Blessed to make love to amazing women of quality... of heart, mind, body and soul, but cursed to live out life alone. You see, after a break-up, he had dispassionately come to the conclusion that he would never belong to anyone other than himself and his Lord... living out moments of beauty instead. All while leaving open the door, that if one would be able to sweep him off his own feet... he'd consider surrendering for more than just a moment. Given this, in his heart, the blessing always outweighed the curse by miles.

That night, he got himself ready for anything and when she showed up, he felt privileged beyond belief as he heard her detail how the date went and how the high priced gifts that were given couldn't deter her from thinking about seeing him. Instead of feeling the haughtiness that such a thing would normally feed, he felt humbled. To him, that feeling of humility was evidence that what he was experiencing was something pure and beautiful. A contradiction to what he would have thought just 10 years prior. As to that night, it seemed almost blessed... in a session that was long and passionate. Two souls saying "thank you for thinking of me and letting me in". Uncommitted lovers bathed in eternity in a world where "couples" were having to see therapists just to cope with being around each other for 10 minutes. Even if it was for the last time, in that moment, every time would be the only time. Making each time... something new and wonderful.

He would have only a handful like this and each one would be something special. Each one had a beautiful name and a favorite color. A favorite rose and/or flower. Each one liked a certain thing in bed and each one valued him for more than anything anyone could actually put down on some superficial list. Judge him all you want but never discount his experience or try to trivialize it with a cookie cutter explanation. He knew what he was to them... and what they meant (and still mean) to him. He was a blessed man then... and he's a blessed man today. He would tell you that today it is extremely difficult to find souls with the kind of mindset AND heart-set that are required for such experiences but he would also say that it is not impossible. It seems that many seem willing but when watched over time, most usually turn out to be unready for something like that. Given that, he counsels on the caveats most would not be able to handle living that kind of life.

As for himself, today, he's learned to navigate the winds better. To the point where he can finally say "come what may" without putting in much thought into what has already become second nature to him. Where everything can be much sweeter than it was before without consuming his life. With his mindset and heart-set enhanced, he remains open to the few... or "the one". He will be... what he will be.

~moses apollo

Hello...

 

Hello again, hello

Just called to say hello

I couldn't sleep at all tonight

And I know it's late

But I couldn't wait

Hello, my friend, hello

Just called to let you know

I think about you ev'ry night

When I'm here alone

And you're there at home, hello

Maybe it's been crazy

And maybe I'm to blame

But I put my heart above my head

We've been through it all

And you loved me just the same

And when you're not there

I just need to hear

Hello, my friend, hello

It's good to need you so

It's good to love you like I do

And to feel this way

When I hear you say, hello

Hello, my friend, hello

Just called to let you know

I think about you ev'ry night

And I know it's late

But I couldn't wait

Hello

~neil diamond

For None To See...

have you found the secret of my heart? the how and the why of it's fleshly part? it's breathless sighs at the thought of you... and it's ache at not having you near? have you been able to look past my iris's into just how beautiful i see you? eyes inspired by the glory of the smile on your beautiful face that revealed just how happy you were to discover that i loved you. all while meeting frustration at your body's design. a design tailor made to meet the needs my hands have to gently graze upon something magical and artistic... as yet existing outside the reach of my arms. what more can i laud in love, but to proclaim your strength worthy of praise and pride... so formidably beautiful... and as such... so soulishly alluring... 

i find you amongst the many. i whisper into your heart: "come and love me neath my moon. where its glow cracks the mist that meets my soil. where i lay in waiting... as passion that claws at me draws blood from my skin. desperate for satiation... i lay in waiting for you my love. anointed... come... love me disjointed. appointed into silence for the claiming of all you've yet to taste. for the love of all that's pure in haste... come to me... harken to my love..."

rest restless, bare to bare. held in oneness... for none to see but you and me. as mist and moonlight find there way beneath our sheets... inspiring love from king to queen... and from queen to king. making love... for none to see... but you and me...

~moses apollo

Warm...

"...when your heart is cold..."

It's been a long day my beautiful woman. Come lay beside me in bed. Beside the candles on the bedside tables lit up to form shadows that slow dance on the ceilings and on the walls of our room. Rest your weary head on my arm and drape your leg across my body as if I were a comfortable pillow. Close your eyes and rest upon this man who loves you as he watches over the moment of peace he can provide. With every loving breath... falling deeper into love. For as you do, you will find that in these arms... there is safety from the cares that burden your soul. Use them my love... and claim your promised peace.

Let every whispered kiss that graces your beautiful face proclaim: 

"I will keep your heart warm my love"

~moses apollo 

The Doggie In The Window...

"i do hope that doggie's for sale..."

I find it hilarious how "wisdom", in the minds of some, is synonymous with prudish and pious. How a woman can want to bang the hell out of you one minute and see you in an entirely different light once she finds out you're "wise" and carry yourself with honor. I'd say it happens about thirty percent of the time and it's actually funny to me. I DO NOT have the exterior of what some would consider "a wise man" lol According to the stereotype, I'm supposed to be thin and pasty... wearing polo shirts, loose fitting pants and Birkenstocks. All while sportin some glasses and carrying the latest book I'm reading with me everywhere I go lol Definitely not me folks!! I've been told I look the part of a man that both knows what to do in bed and in the ring. Whether that's true or not, it does not scream "wise" and honestly... I seriously get a kick out of it lol

In truth, I just assume that some women want their playthings or "food" to remain stupid or unserious so that they will never have to be afraid of falling any deeper than skin. Since I cant get much out of skin alone, it kind of works for me but it's hilarious coming from the gender that claims to be more mature than men. I look at Solomon and the women he courted. They ranged from a slave girl that worked in the fields to the Queen of Sheba. What made them so special? They knew exactly what they were getting with him and loved him as he was. There was no box to fit him in, and no stereotype to meet as he was not your average "King." It takes a special kind of woman to court a special kind of man. Without fakin it or havin to prove it all the time, she would be introspective, self-assured, and self-aware... humble yet without fear and not easily intimidated or impressed by status, intelligence, or wisdom. Creating impeccable synergy with whomever she was with of the same caliber. Like I said... "special."

Now, lest anyone think I'm in the market... relax. I'm just the "doggie in the window" gettin' the steady onlookers that like to ponder taking me home from time to time. I dig it like that for now... "watchin'" on the who, the what, and the why ;-) Although, that someday is approaching, when that glass will no longer do it for me folks... I'm out...

~moses apollo

I Know My Name...

"What if" is a waste of precious time and space

It dims the lights of this vibrant place

What if every cell in my body changed?

I am the sail, the plank

The mast that breaks and gets replaced

I am remade, repaired, reshaped

But somehow, still the same

Even after every cell in my body changed

I know my name

Wave after wave, I'm more afraid

It's been a hard year, it's been a high tide

I can make it make sense, but my body decides

I keep telling myself again and again

It's been a hard year, healing takes time

Routine test results, I'm probably fine

(I know better)

(I know better)

But it doesn't really matter

My body decides

One part at a time

I am the sail, the plank

The mast that breaks and gets replaced

I am remade, repaired, reshaped

But somehow, still the same

Even after every cell in my body changed

I know my name

I know my name

I know my name

I know

~sleeping at last