My friend leaned over and straight out asked me: "What it is it with you? Why do you have this effect? I get the muscle and looks but some of these women just get silly!!" I chuckled and said "Well... that ain't but a "crush giggle" from the tickle... and THAT, can be a double-edged sword" lol He asked me what I meant...
Of all people, he was one to talk. He had this chick crushin on him badly. What's worse... he liked her too. This is why he asked the question. He wanted to know what to do and in his case, the answer would not be an easy one. What makes it a double-edged sword? Well, if the one with a crush is just that... "the one with a crush"... you can let that go and let it be what it is but if you dig them too? Good luck with that. Why? Because a crush implies that there have been vivid imaginations of love making, hand holding, soft times together and the occasional explosive "f*ck" session that most likely aided in a diddle or two. A whole lifetime of moments lived out in their head. Even your first meeting has a script set up already with a sense of expectation that can easily turn into a let-down if you're not careful. In these cases, the one with the crush will either be too afraid to face the fantasized lover (fearing they or the fantasy might not meet expectations) or they might not want to ruin the fantasy by taking a chance at reality. The "giggles" happen when they instinctively feel you can read their funky thoughts about you just being in their presence or you just did somethin they've imagined you've done a few times in glee. Watching this unfold with the "giggles" can be both fun and cute but if you dig them? It's like "ok?!? wth man?!?" lol
I can recall the first time something like that happened to me. I was in Junior High and I was just beginning to get the silly responses. So much so that my male peers would laugh at my frustration of the insanity of it all. I should have been indulging at the time but I had no mind for that. I had zero game... I was just a kid. Well, among the admirers, there was one that had a crush on me and she was letting everyone know it. That might have been the first time I actually attempted to see what would happen if I "made a move". I remember approaching her to say "hi" and to my astonishment, she froze and had no idea what to say. Her eyes welled up and she literally ran away lol I asked my female friends what I did wrong and they said that she was so into me... she was scared of me. I didn't understand it then but I do now and although it's an amazing compliment... it can be the most frustrating thing to face. A few days later at recess, I approached her again and we talked. She couldn't have been sweeter. She would be moving later that year so nothing ever came of it but she was happy and it was the first time I felt good just being human to someone that thought me larger than life. In truth... it was humbling to be seen like that and it still is when it happens. If there is anything you take from this piece, I pray that it's the understanding that this is a "power" folks and as such, you can use it for both good or bad. Understand that you are granted this "power" by the idealized version of a lover in the mind of the one crushin on you. To be clear... you are NOT "the sh*t" because of it. Appreciate it and see it for what it actually is... a sweet blessing.
Now due to my level of transparency, it just so happens that I usually wind up being what you've imagine me to be and I've been known to meet the mark on a few "fantastic" moments from time to time BUT... as a human being. In other words, you want the fantasy? You gotta accept the reality too and sometimes... it just ain't sexy. I try to convey this from jump even if it costs me some "power" but when it works out... it REALLY works out. When it doesn't? I know how to mitigate it so that it ain't so bad. In either case, I will NEVER take advantage or be an ass about it. For someone with a crush to take a chance coming forward takes a beautiful courage and vulnerability that should be nurtured and protected... even if it doesn't work out in your favor.
As for my friend, it didn't work out for him. She dug the idea of him and didn't want to ruin it. I told him to just get to know her but he, like many men these days, isn't too keen on making first moves so if she won't... he don't lol Yeah, that ain't gonna happen lol I'm out...
~moses apollo
No comments:
Post a Comment