He woke up realizing he had been holding her for hours but right before his waking... he had a 60 second flash. A vision of a revealed moment in time:
He was standing behind her in a rust stained shower. She, a young beautiful specimen of a woman, muscular in design with everything in the right place... simply stood there... alive, but seemingly almost lifeless. She was wearing gym attire that consisted of tan spandex shorts and a tan cropped tank top. He began to look her over as though he was officiating the inspection of a machine. You see, in this world, he was only known... as the "creator". It was unsure what he was creating but he was certain he had something to do with the creation of this beautiful creature before him. As such, he had always understood that due to this... he could not ethically allow himself to feel any attachment... but oftentimes, as is human nature... he did anyway. All the while, painfully knowing this beauty needed to flourish on her own. All of this feeling was clear within seconds into this part of the vision.
After the inspection, a flash of lightening emanated from him. It looked like a part of his energy force painfully left him to strike her into life and as she began blinking, he knew it was time for him to leave. Yet as he began to walk away, she stopped him and held his face in her hands as if to pull him into a kiss. With his eyes slightly welled up with tears, he pulled back and whispered "I can't" as he tried turning away once again. Yet without saying a word, in her hands appeared a hammer and a chisel. The same hammer and chisel he once thought he controlled... was hers all along. It turned out that he in fact was not the creator he thought he was. He only supplied the life that inspired the "living" of all they had created for themselves. In part, a better version of themselves they thought he could love. He realized in that moment that his life only served as inspiration and that all he did was help guide them along the way... on a journey of their own making. All of this to assure him of something she was unready to declare until that moment: "you can love me now". With his sorrow turning to release, relief and fascination, he pulled her in for the most long awaited passionate kiss they could have ever imagined was possible. He finally understood... he was finally free.
Upon waking, he tried to dismiss what he saw as just a few seconds of a days-brewed fantastical dream but as it ruminated in his mind... he began to understand that of the many things that held him back from truly loving as he wanted, this might be the biggest of them all. A conscience that was created with rigid lines that were necessary at the time. Attached as training wheels for a different version of himself... a version he couldn't fully trust. A version long since gone. Here was one such issue perspective through revelation could finally aid in freeing him from.
My beautiful people, as time rolls on, my heart turns free. I see more and feel more. As such I understand more of my "power." How to use it, how to grow it and how to cultivate it yet I refuse to be less than what I was when the environment was different. An environment... that is very close to becoming a reality again. Except this time, with a greater understanding and sophistication. It feels like I'm being prepped for something. More than even I expected was possible. Last time I faced vices and temptations unknown to me. I could say I was almost overtaken by them. This time... I own them all and they are mine to control and do with as I please. I choose life... I choose love... I choose faith... and I choose passion. I'm out...
~moses apollo
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