The day may come when you find yourself surrounded by folks that admire you or even want you for one reason or another. You don't exactly see what they see in you because the truth is, you didn't try to put on a show or try to be anything more than a better you. At first, you may decide to hide, but after some time, you realize that there's nothing you can do about how others perceive you. Good or bad... you are what you are and you refuse to downplay all that you are for the sake of appeasement or comfort. You decide to take what you are to do what you can with it. You can take the worst of yourself and go the selfish route or decide on the better route... to do what you can to help like-hearted others along their way.
You take the good with the bad of it. A process that will have you experiencing the spectrum of humanity. From appreciation to disdain you receive it all and stay on mission. Even when slapped in the face, you persist because you know that what was given to you didn't come cheap so who the f*ck are you to complain. You are not exactly a sinner and you're not exactly a saint... you're just the "you" that sought the better of all you could become inside. No better or worse than anyone else. Just further along in the journey everyone has the ability to travail. You could walk ahead alone or take as many as would come with you. At first you look back and see many follow but as the years go by and the times change... only a few. You endeavor to keep going into undiscovered countries and places everyone warned you about. You press on. Every once and a while you find an oasis in your desert. At first, you meet those that were ahead of ahead of you that have decided they've gone far enough. Sometimes you inspire them to press on but most times... you press on alone. Until you come upon an empty oasis. An island you can claim as your own. It is here that you find rest...
In your downtime, you leave long notes, songs or poetry about your travels, loves and experiences so that any new travelers that come by can learn or relate from all you've come through. To encourage them on the press. To let them know... there's another island just up ahead... "come find me when you're ready." Other times, you don a purposed mask and head back a few miles. The mask you wear can be akin to the rich woman that decided to keep her public assistance to hide what she truly has or it can mirror the fitness enthusiast that no longer posts pictures of his physique to keep folks guessing as to whether or not "he fell off." A mask that helps reveal the truest intent of those that followed you. Each time coming back to the oasis a little more disheartened by what you see... but you press on. Understanding that the farther you go... the more alone you will be.
At this point you may feel the weight of loneliness slowing you down or leading you into disastrous distractions but you know and are reminded of something. That most of those you truly ever touched or loved at one time or another, whether it be physically, mentally or spiritually, are just a whisper away from finding you. From travailing along a similar path tailored to them. Knowing that some things can never be broken. Knowing that you carry the hearts of unbridled passion, tales and understanding that most could only dream of carrying. Knowing that no matter how you look at it... you are blessed.
As I've come to learn of the road along the way... one thing is undeniably true: This road is not just for special folk. It's not for some "elite" kind nor is it solely for the innately gifted. It is for every human being with the desire to travail it. Yes... that means you too. We ALL start walking it when we are born but too many these days have been distracted by what is now called "life" that they've just stopped at one oasis and called it "home"... something it was never meant to be. At the edge of the line of your existence, there is a place... a new oasis unlike the rest. With all the needed bells, whistles and timeless voices needed to proceed in growth with less effort or solitude. If I should ever reach this place without you... "come find me when you're ready". Time to press on... I'm out...
~moses apollo apolinaris
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