I thought of the man I was bunking with in the hospital today. An elderly black military gentleman that I came to the conclusion was being used by the hospital for insurance purposes. They kept postponing his tests and as they did, the hospital was racking up billing hours. I remember him saying he was glad I was there with him. Not only did I provide him with a laugh or two via the treatment the young nurses were affording me but he also confessed that the last roomie was hell. Didn't even acknowledge the man was there. We would speak and laugh from time to time and after we spoke on the "stalling" matter, he ultimately decided to leave the same day I did. I told him I'd see him again after we had prayed. Whether here or in heaven...it remains true. Just had a flash of my Lord holding him. Stopped me cold...he's must be ok then...
Something happened today to someone close to me. He told me that he was chattin it up with a woman I know to be in serious demand on a particular platform. Something happened with her and someone else and in their conversation she admitted she thought my friend would be "the one" but she wound up meeting someone else. Same guy that just broke her heart. The capper? That "the one" business was new to him. He knew they were into each other (openly stated) but the energy she put out was not "he's the one" energy. I know that energy...it's palpable and followed up by more than just clues. He just didn't see it so he naturally believed she just changed her mind and thought them better friends. He did what I would do...he rolled with it. He figured she must be holding back out of caution but whatever the case, I just unloaded and told him there's a lot of that goin around. Some women do this out of caution and that is understood but most today are doing this because they think they are owed something they never earned. That just because they're women...they're entitled to anything a man has...including his heart, attention and devotion. Yeah f*ck that...
No, no and a hell no lol I've been seeing this more and more and it's honestly turned me off from pursuing anything in a big way. I have options but I will not be runnin marathons for anybody anymore unless I'm gettin the same energy back and options mean very little if they ain't of compatible quality. I told my boy to chalk it up to life experience in the modern age. I am in no way cold (in fact these days been runnin hotter than usual) and nor have I become bitter about imagined slights (thank GOD!) but my outlook has become more definitive after what happened to me. I have access to "water, water everywhere"...just no filtration unit lol So I just told my boy to back off a bit in his head and heart. That she didn't do anything to him and that it's not so much a "him" issue. That she might not want him like that no more and that this was fine. To remain the man he is. To not cut her off because he didn't get anything from her because he wouldn't do that to a friend...much less to someone he cared about in that way. She is just another soul lookin for a place to rest her weary heart. Folk like that could wind up makin mistakes. Especially when snakes come around pretending to be unicorns in order to claim such a heart. Anyway, we'll see how honorable he remains lol
"Toda persona tiene su forma de amar, pero pocas con amor y solo queda soñar"
I used to do these rambles a lot more. They unintentionally hold nuggets of wisdom in the reading. I might do more...just talkin. Oh and yes, I got permission from my boy to talk about this stuff. To women I talk to normally...all this is clear. To those that come around inquiring: you don't ask or actually inquire? ...you'll never truly know. NEVER assume with me...ever. Like I told my boy, I will follow your energy if that's all I have to go by and you might be puttin out something that can be grossly misstated by a logical conclusion. This is not just about "interest". You might have something important to say to me. Speak...it's fine. I'm out.
~moses apollo
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