It was a Friday night and the sun was just about to go down. I hit the park to people watch as I usually did. A young man in a huge city. A body and a face with not much else but a sense of piety. I found a bench to sit on and began taking in the humans. Taking in body language, smiles, glares, lovers, friends and those meeting for the first time. I noticed to my right an old man and his walker approaching the bench I was sitting on and just as I figured, he took a seat. After he took a seat, he began to wave to a young man holding flowers as if to tell him..."relax"...
We start talking and it turns out the old man was this young man's grandfather. He tells me that his grandson is meeting this woman that he has been corresponding with for the first time. This young man was a mess because he fell in love without ever having seen her. The old man began telling the story and I was perplexed because I was still young enough to reluctantly believe love could visit the heart unseen. He perceived my disbelief so he began his lesson by pointing out a man in the background. He said "You see that man? Big muscles, great looking face? That man has been met by at least five women in the past month alone and he still ain't satisfied. If you watch him walk, he walks with the swagger of a man that owns the world and women look at him with hunger but he still can't find love. My grandson poured his heart into letters and this woman he is about to meet did the same. Unseen...they found love. The countless women that want muscle man over there have no desire to know who he is, they just want his body and could care less about his soul but my grandson has a soul that attracts those that truly desire to know him and even more...to love him". I sat taking in this lesson as though this man was a messenger from God Himself. He said "You see, this man has no idea that what he has is worthless on it's own. He thinks he owns the world with his body when the truth is, the world owns him. His self-worth is completely tied into being wanted by his body so he is trapped by his own pride. So ask yourself, what pride is there in the idea that women want your body when all they see and care about is the shell that deteriorates over time? My grandson on the other hand, is wanted for something that can only grow in grace over time so what he carries has way more value and the by-product of that is the attraction of those of greater value. He can't brag because he honestly feels humbled by it and that also adds to his manhood. He impresses me. That other man is not impressive to me at all and just so you know, I had a long chat with him one day so this is not me judging by appearances. So young man, choose what you will represent...the good man inside or the shell that carries him..."
We sat and watched the beautiful union take place. I can tell you she was a looker that carried herself with grace and style. Reluctant and awkward was their first meeting but beaming smiles led to the longest, most sincere embrace one could witness. We sat and talked for hours even after his grandson had left to go eat with his new love. After the old man left, I sat in amazement over what just happened. What I had learned, I knew was for me to apply to my own walk.
Needless to say, I took this man's words to heart and decided I was to cultivate both body and soul. I made the pursuit of physical growth a manifestation of my soul's determination to excel which is why I am so annoyingly philosophical about training. I can boast over them that want my body but I know it means nothing more than a funny story to tell. I see nothing wrong with them "wanting" that as it is human so long as they're willing to look deeper and find more to want but I could never lord over anyone about a list of women that want me because that holds no bearing towards my growth. My greatest elation has and will always come from those that read something I wrote and are moved by something I said that stayed with them for years. By sharing my heart and having the listener/reader find out that true love still exists, that beauty can be found in the simplest of places or that raw truth can bring about existential change.
I scoff at those that think themselves grand by the body they wear simply because they are wanted by many when all that the "many" want can be replaced by fingers, a hand and some private time in the bathroom. You want to impress me? Show me something that is irreplaceable. Show me the masses that want you for your soul. Show me something that I can't find anywhere else but inside you. Otherwise, save your hubris for those that are impressed by the superficial. There is no greater turn-off to me than a woman that believes they can be as disrespectful as they want simply because they believe you fear to lose them by your response. As though they think themselves so grand to be beyond reproach. In turn there is nothing sexier to me than an outwardly beautiful woman that exudes grace, humility and respect. Even though she is wanted by many, she still knows her truist value lays within her heart. It lessens a man when he does the same as he should feel honored as opposed to entitled that this many want him. Everyone must come to their own conclusion as to what they want to be wanted for. You will never be able to change entirely how people view you but you sure as hell can lead them in the right direction. Yet how people view you is not at issue if you truly are aware of who you are but what is at issue is what is worth more to you...your body, your soul or the harmony of both.
~Moses Apollo
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