Heavy...

"'Take me down to the river bend

Take me down to the fighting end

Wash the poison from off my skin

Show me how to be whole again..."

"Heavy" is the feeling one has in their spirit when something isn't right.  When something is way off balance due to a "happening" taking place on the inside or out.

Sometimes we get stuck.  Stuck in things and places we thought were safe.  Places we came to find at depth...were just not for us but have decided to put a blind eye to that glaring reality.  Such is the case with most band-aids.  What was supposed to be a temporary fix until you made it the hospital for proper care, turned out to only make the wound worse and may just turn out to be the very thing that is now preventing you from ever making it to the hospital at all.  Yet you insist via two schools of thought: "this is the best I can do for now..." and "maybe this can work...".  A struggle with two sides that no matter how you look at them, will result in a loss.  Gangrene will eventually set in and without the proper care...and you will lose the limb.

Why?  Pride.  It's what happens when we try to outsmart our hearts or good judgment.  Instead of following one or the other, we think it best to give our hearts and judgement a little something to keep them "OK".  Something that only serves to drive you further away from what they were trying to lead you towards in the first place.  If I have learned anything in this life worth sharing it's this:  Never shortchange your heart or your good judgement.  Neither can be assuaged by substitution or half-assed attempts to placate them.  Follow these wholeheartedly or not at all as their council comes from an honest place.  If all is in order and balanced...they will never steer you wrong...

I cannot think of anything in my life at the moment that would move me to write this for myself but if this fits in the soul of you the reader?  Go back to the place in your mind where you decided to put that band-aid on and rip it off.  Get to the hospital your judgement or heart was leading you to in the first place and take back your balance...I'm out

~Moses