I have been wanting to write about this deal here for quite some time but if written in frustration, it would come out really wrong. Now settled into my quiet zone I can address this issue. You ready gents?
When is it ever a good time to fight another man for a woman? Never...
Oh but wait... Indulge me for a few more seconds of brain power here. If a man shows up wanting to fight you for the hand of your woman, first, ask him why he believes he can claim her. If he begins with..."she said she loved me" or "we've been talking" or "we made love" ask him for proof. If he brings you proof, bring this man to her and with a smile tell him "she's all yours...have fun" and keep it moving. Now, if he is delusional and your woman has not entertained any of his advances then speak to your woman to make it clear to him that she has not nor ever will be interested in him. If he persists, then and only then do you have my blessing to beat his delusional ass for the sake of honor alone for he has disrespected your place and your relationship. Clear? Good...
What is the moral behind these rules? Always find out if your woman has been the catalyst behind another man's claim of "place" in her life. If she flirted with him and gave him time enough to naturally conclude that he is in the running for her then she needs to go and you need to celebrate that loss. Time and energy are extremely important so do not under any circumstances waste it on bullshit. If she wants to play, let her play without you because while she may feel a rush over the fact that men are fighting over her, you are the one wasting time and energy over foolishness. Spill blood for noble reasons...not for the ego of someone else that is already looking to better you. Go home, make yourself a sandwich. Kick up your feet and better her.
Allow me one more that is a bit more complex and nuanced. You meet this beautiful woman. There is no commitment but you're hitting it off. You both know that and all is clear. One of her other men sees that you speak to her and for whatever unjustified reason, feels threatened by you. He begins to check you out even though they have the same type of open relationship. Maybe they are getting more serious than you were led to believe but you wouldn't know that because it's really none of your business. All you know is that she is alluding to "issues" and you say "fine". There is nothing there and no need for you to concern yourself as to whether or not you are getting in the way. You go on about your business as usual. He now begins asking her about you and tells her that the only reason he is asking is because he thinks you are following him around. Instead of laughing this off, she questions you as though there was some truth to his claims. You are not only amused at the thought that someone would make that claim about you but you are now beside yourself that she would even entertain that bullshit. Given that you are not committed to her and that you now realize that he needed to be led to believe that they are getting closer what do you do? Simple...you step aside. You don't blame her for his insecurities nor should you remain upset that she believed his lunacy but you no longer want any part of the mess that will come from her being with a man like that or any other that may come along. It was understood so no harm done except that now you are forced to really keep your distance from someone you have come to love. It's hard to end the warm platitudes of a burgeoning romance but for the sake of the fullness of her experience you do so even as it kills you. Move forward and press on as though nothing has taken place...fake it. You do so because this is her journey and if you love her, you will understand the deeper significance that will come of it. Be there if she needs you, check up on her from time to time and if the love was real...it will endure. If not? It was a beautiful moment in time you will never forget.
So gents, in the former example, you let it go lovely because she was playing games. In the latter, you let it go begrudgingly because you want no part of the games being played on her. In either case...you keep your peace intact. Never fight without good reason and never allow yourself to be a pawn in anyone's game. If you know who and what you are, you will live a life without regret or fear. If you don't? Shit I can't help you with that...I'm out
~Moses
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