"Hold me dear, don't let go I am only here for the moment..."
Now that I'm back on my blog, I can let loose with some sh*t . My target tonight is simply the man that is willing to listen...
I've been wanting to speak about this subject to men for quite some time but at best have referenced it sparingly throughout this blog. The subject? Why some women have never had an orgasm through intercourse. When I first heard about this I was literally stunned. I felt bad for the woman telling me because she said it as if it was no big deal. She thought it was something normal. In time, I wound up on an unintended mini listening tour on the subject and came to find that it was more common than I had thought. It was a shock to my system because it was then that I found myself to be an oddity. You see when I was married, I thought it prudent to learn news ways to please my wife as this was part of my "becoming" so to speak. I took to learning techniques in coupling that were excellent but nothing was more important than learning how to be a better "listener". I learned not only how to listen to her voice...but her body as well. As time is needed to process information coming from her voice, so time is needed to process information emanating from her skin. Her movements...her breath. Taking the time to find her sweet spots. In time...this became my normal and has been to this day. My shock came when I found out that the sex life of my then-wife and I was NOT normal. I mean sh*t...it was great! I honestly didn't know we were the odd couple. So my question then became...why don't men instinctively know this?
All I had to do was listen to my "boys" just shootin the sh*t. Here, I found my answer. Most men believe that it's enough to be able to perform tricks and last hours in bed. That the sheer mechanics of it should produce an orgasm for their lovers is nothing more than childish "bro science". She might as well stay home and diddle. Save herself some train fare. To listen to them speak was like listening to a farmer buying cattle as these women were not full humans but something to buy, kill and eventually eat. Describing their women as toys to be played with and conquered. Describing how they would appease them with meaningless platitudes to get them to perform. Using the word love as a means to get in just enough to get what they wanted. That's when I understood something that is not as simplistic as many had assumed. The "men are pigs" line is far too surface. No, it was something else entirely. I came to notice that in many ways, they were treating their women the same way they would treat a friendly male competitor. It's as though they were only capable of seeing women as men see themselves when there is in fact a huge difference.
Now here's the deal: I don't care what the PC bullsh*t mindset has to say; men and women are wired differently. Men are motivated by logic, women are inspired by emotion. Men see the mechanics of a car, women feel the engines' purr as it shifts. The beauty of knowing this is that although we can't master each others roles, we can sure learn how to flow in them and do it pretty well. In doing so I came to understand that emotional content was key to assuring a lovers' pleasure was real and meaningful. Now some of you men may think "Ok, then I'll just add that!!!" Hold on there little buckaroos...it's not that simple. Allow me to elaborate...
I'm sure you're thinkin this is just another arrow to be placed in your quiver for conquest but you see in thinkin this, you've already lost. In truth, it isn't an arrow you can "pick up". You have to become the arrow. Meaning, that you have to now use muscles you've only flexed in church or during deep conversations. Where emotional content is a requirement. Men, you have to feel her in earnest and for that, you have to know her. You have to listen to her and create a sincere connection that is exclusive to her alone. You have to see her as a human being, keeping in mind that this human being is gonna process things differently than you are. All this will have you wanting her from the inside out and you will then be able to see her body as an extension of what she is inside...as you've now come to understand it. If this intent is sincere, you will take care to do everything in your power to make sure she is comfortable being herself in your presence. It's that comfort that allows her into the zone where how she looks naked is no longer keeps her from getting lost in ecstasy. Where she has no other concern but to "feel". Where she closes her eyes and trusts the waters of every wave that comes brushin up on different places of her skin. Lost...alone and together. This zone is a place. A place that will allow you to understand that foreplay for women does not begin at the vagina. That it begins with a goodnight kiss. A time to listen. An impromptu sincere compliment or an exacting of appreciation. Little sincerities that flutter the heart enough for it to "open". Things you will only see when you learn how to listen through the prism of emotional content.
Now I know there's the rare woman that will orgasm trippin on a can of soda and there are some women that get off on the animalistic adrenaline f*ck. For me? "There's always room for jello" but not everyone can handle that. Much less come right out the box swingin on lampshades. I know a woman that once told me there was no difference between f*cking and making love. She swore she was not missing out on anything...until somebody that truly loved her showed her different. I have said it many times over...any boy with the right equipment can f*ck. It takes a real man to make love...
So to all you lovers for hours or lovers for a lifetime, what matters most is found in the moments you share. The deeper they are...the longer they last. Always remember that sexual intimacy is no different...much love
~Moses
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