Bogota...

"...a heart that's made of gold couldn't beat at all..."

I went to Bogota tonight with Millie and Josh.  Great food and a nice tasting "Old Fashioned".  It was a good night.  I sat facing the crowd as is my custom and maybe that was a mistake.  My peripherals could notice glances frequently coming my way.  I don't know, maybe it was that they never seen some muscle before...I could give a shit.  My son confirmed what was happening so no, it wasn't delusions of fucking grander...so my head stayed down.  You know why?  Because in that moment, I was with my son and a woman I not only love, but have the utmost respect for.  I'm not about to sully that by playing the "boy".  You know what I'm talking about.  The boy that would make all those who glance believe they have a shot at what they admire.  That's just bullshit.

Someone had a dream that I had done that and that is not me.  If I am with you...I AM with you.  Even if it's just for a moment.  No one else matters.  The sun can entreat me and I will not budge.  You can walk away and I will remain yours...no one else's.  I have always been this way.  My father mentioned it to me once when I was seventeen.  We came out of our building and he mentioned the obvious.  He said "I notice that when women look at you, you look down", "why do you do that?"  I told him the truth..."I would never want a woman to do that to me, to purposefully draw another man's attention...if I would demand that of her, why would I not demand that of myself?".  People, it's just about respect.  You either have it or you don't.  Why men place rules on who they're with that they can't live up to themselves?  Whether it's rules you place on each other or not...it's still just a matter of respect.  Who I am will not violate this rule I placed upon myself.  I cannot understand anything else...

I don't want to because it's all just "boy" shit.  Knowing this difference is one the many things that separates the men from the boys...

I'm not "superman".  I'm just a man that believes rules are there for a reason.  I'm more than just "good"...

~Apollo