Nights unstable. Pills and booze don't kick in till about an hour or so. You hate tomorrow. Everyone with bad news is awake during the day. Empty days skirt your passion because that brings you joy. No time for such luxuries. No time for diversion. Calculations and firefighting...with no hope in sight. You fear the beauty of dreams you know you have to wake up from so you avoid them altogether. Sheltered from joy. Yet you push because you know...you're still alive. Knowing there is better. What's the quickest route? Your mind won't let that question go. You know...there IS an answer. You know there has to be an answer.
There IS an answer. Stay alive...it will come...
...the plight of the one who knows he has to die to be able to finally live...
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