"OMG, you are so f*ck'in fine!!! Damn!!"
As crass as that was, it was her way of saying I was attractive...and I could care less lol I walked 5th ave in Brooklyn tonight. The blocks going from gritty to livable in about 4 miles. In my hand a bottle of red my boy had left to spare over at his place and good looking female passersby giving me attention. I'm sure I'm not the most attractive man on the planet but at the risk of sounding conceited...I still look damn good and I intend on aging extremely well lol
To be real though, what did the attention do for me? I know some people need external recognition to find validation but if your looks define who you are then as you age you will think yourself a piece of sh*t. What good will you be without attention? What else do you have besides a big ass or lots of muscle? Have you ever bothered to put as much effort towards yourself internally as you do for everything external? As I was eating with my boy an attractive woman obviously lingered and kept looking my way. As if to let me know she was open for an invitation. I sized it up in 5 minutes and just kept eating. I had no interest. I played it out in my head and it's flavor was bland. Yeah, you want what you see but then what? Will you care to stick around? Do I even want you to? Or did I just want another story to tell my friends about? I just don't know anymore. I'm not one to string anyone along pretending to be solid while I wriggle internally like spaghetti and the truth is right now...I feel like spaghetti lol I just think about what they want and what they see. I think about the aftermath. Who will still do the "cat call" when I've grown too old for choices? Who loves what I am as opposed to what I just look like? That is a lifetime away for me but I think about these realities to keep me grounded and selective. What do I want? I have no idea anymore which in turn leaves me wanting absolutely nothing...spaghetti out lol
No comments:
Post a Comment