Some of the grandest plans will exhaust the greatest amount of patience and will even at times... force you to find it within some internal reservoirs you never even knew existed. I see things coming to fruition that had me caught up in expectation and even though these things were expected, they still have a way of leaving me somewhat breathless in momentary shock. I knew this when what I was waiting for started to ramp up into reality and I made the decision to take some time to sit and watch the bowling ball roll down the aisle after its' release. Kind of making sure that the proverbial pin drops won't inadvertently drop me. Where I was chatty before, some might find me less so. Where I was animated and present... some may find me aloof. Still available, still "in the mix"... only more divided in my attention. I'm just "watchin" folks and at watch, yesterday brought me one of those moments I was anticipating.
It's one of those moments when a declaration of change hits you hard in the gut but because it's bittersweet... you accept it as a part of life. The day when someone you love decides it's time to move on, you watch them proudly grow into the next phase of their life knowing that their subsequent moves will require them to involve you to a much lesser extent. Not because you did anything wrong... but because you know you finally did something right. This is when the payoffs begin and some, by their nature... are hard as hell. This is when your longsuffering finally gets to bear witness to the flowers you planted so long ago. Flowers you knew would need to be moved to better soil someday. Out of your garden... and into their own. It's a heavy thing... and I am assured it will not be the last.
I need you all to listen to me very carefully. NEVER stop believing. It doesn't matter if they call you delusional for doing so. It doesn't matter who may ridicule you for holding fast to a vision they cannot see for themselves. Who chose to sit with you... or who picked up and left. Stand alone if you need to... it doesn't matter. Wait for the payoffs... they WILL come.
At the end of it all... I see an elegant man in a 3 piece suit standing on a ledge overlooking the ocean. He is alone but he is at peace... and everyone is more than just good. He could do or be anything he wants... but in that moment... stillness is king. Let's get the rest of these pins down... I'm out...
~moses apollo
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