How do you quantify what is truly in a person's soul? It takes a listening ear, a watchful, mindful, understanding eye... and time. No matter how stoic or stuck to a script they are, folk will always reveal themselves. Most often, the same is done to me and I wouldn't have it any other way (except when its done with a spirit of incredulity). With me, most will find that "what you see is what you get". As it turns out, after so many disappointments and fakes... most people just can't handle that. As I've said many times before, I've found that folk would rather the liar. They are much easier to run playbooks on. You have volumes of information on what to do with them but on the men of honor? Not much if anything at all. You'd say "no, those are the ones you marry... you stop looking after that". That makes a lot of sense yeah? Yet what if you meet an oddity? One of these that chose a free life because he's been down the married road already but chooses to live an honorable life within that freedom? An anomaly yes? Oh yes...
I truly despise how "free men" are represented these days but I can't do anything about that. I can only allow my character and transparency to speak for itself. I make no bones about it. I LOVE beautiful things. Works of quality art that speak to both the eyes of my body and soul and you will watch as I openly seek to know them all. Yet unlike the cads that run wild today... without looking to "own" a thing. I'm looking to "admire", to "appreciate" and if allowed... to love what speaks to me even deeper. Not with the kind of love that is boxed up nicely with a bow. Instead... with a love that exists outside of anything anyone can easily reproduce that can meet any design God created. Understanding it will never be perfect... but at least "knowing"... it will always be real.
Why bring this all up now? Because I was met with another one of those dreams last night and it has me a bit messed up. Don't know what to think about it anymore but for me, as of a bit ago... it was just a dream. A sweet-like dream... but a dream nonetheless. In the very same context, my friends would say that "I'm back" but ever since my heart situation, I'm finding I'm treading lighter than usual... more judicious. I alone can tell the subtle differences. Even with this more feral passion, I'm being careful as to what I decide to take on. No longer as quick to jump in as I was before but to my sweet and grateful surprise... the waters are most definitely fine...
Now, to all my new readers. I have no idea where you all came from or what makes me such a fascinating read (seriously, this is not false humility lol) but thank you and welcome. My previous post was going to be my last for awhile but since there is such an interest, I will continue to write as honestly and organically as I can. As you all can now see... I'm a coat of many colors and that seems to work just fine for me. I won't promise I'll try to be more interesting or try to please anyone (never have on here) but I will continue writing what's on my heart. Maybe not everyday... but as often as I can. Stay blessed... I'm out
~moses apollo
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