To Sit and Rest...

Easy now...the calm before the whirlwind starts up again...nice video btw ;-)

I'm So Tired...

"I'd give you everything I got for little peace of mind"

Tres Copas De Vino...Original

Tres Copas De Vino

Mis velas me han vaciado mi marca de Bordeaux roto en tres copas...

Mi primera copa se ve y se siente suave, las crestas surco como pequeñas manos lenta y suavemente sobandome. Rítmica, hipnótica y sigue. Uno al lado del otro...ahí mismo. Los placeres...constante húmedo y listo. Tome las cosas con calma....agradable...lento. No hay necesidad de acero ya que mis dedos sienten todo lo dulce. Cada cresta formada por Dios para que el hombre pueda ver su obra a través de los dedos y la palma. La respiración es baja...hasta que

Mi segunda copa emite un bello reflejo de dolor...pero no del tipo que usted piensa. El dolor de la necesidad de alimentar en algo real. El dolor del deseo de ser deseada por la sustancia. El amor al ser amado como se ama el arte...con pasión y fuego. El deseo de ser querido...más allá de su forma. Más allá de su impecable belleza y gracia...en ella y con ella...deseada...deseada para más...en verdad

Mi tercera copa es hermosa, fuerte y de otro tipo. Se parece a mí...pero no lo es. Para muchos, demasiado pesada para levantarla. Para mí...fácil. Me sentaré y admire desde la distancia, ya que ninguno podía levantarla. Para regalarle no cuesta mucho...solamente vino...vino viejo que cierra la mente y te lleva a lugares que nunca has estado antes. Los lugares donde las huellas del pensamiento no puede impedir su magia...es la apertura de las puertas nadie se preocupó lo suficiente para abrir antes.

Bordeaux

Tres Copas De Vino...

"Y te quiero tener...y no puede ser"

My burning candles have me pouring my brand of broken Bordeaux into three glasses...

The first glass looks and feels smooth, the ridges groove as tiny hands slowly and gently stroke.  Rhythmic, hypnotic and still.  Side by side...right there.  The pleasures...steady moist and ready.  Take it slow....nice and slow.  No need for steel since my fingers feel everything sweet.  Every ridge formed by the Gods themselves that man can see their handiwork through fingers and palm.  The breathing is low...until

My second glass gives off a beautiful reflection of pain...yet not the kind you think.  The pain of need to feed on something real.  The pain of desire to be desired by substance.  The loving to be loved as art is loved...with passion and flame.  The wanting to be wanted...beyond it's form.  Beyond it's impeccable beauty and grace...in it and with it...wanted for more...wanted...for real

My third glass is lovely, heady and of a different kind.  It looks like me...but it's not.  For many, too heavy to lift.  For me...easy.  I will sit and watch it from a distance as none could lift it.  To gift it doesn't take much...it takes wine...old wine that shuts off the mind and takes you into places you've never been before.  The places where traces of thought can't stop you from it's magic...it's opening of doorways none have ever cared enough to open before.

Bordeaux ;-)



Moments In Confined Inspiration...

Tonight I ventured off with my ex-wife to a little spot on Mercer street.  Inside this little spot towards the very back we found ourselves a stage.  A stage where three people sat and got ready for their set...sh*t they were amazing.

Flamenco...an art form that requires an uncontrollable passion.  It is all giving in the way you strum every guitar string.  It is painful in it's cry when sung...and when danced, it is one of the hottest things you will ever see.  I watched as Sol "La Argentinita" danced and I was captivated.  To watch a woman pull out from inside of her that "duende" is mesmerizing and the truth that captivates the onlooker is not just the skill behind it all...but the idea that THIS is how a woman should make love to a man.  With intensity and build up.  With pain and fury.  With moments of "come hither" and other moments that say "Get the f*ck over here!!!"  It is all in that dance.  To say I was impressed is an understatement.

Yet above all things that I can say about Sol, David and Mark is this...they are some of the realest people you will ever meet...and if you all follow this blog, you know that goes a very long way with me.  God bless them, God bless their talent and God bless Flamenco...

I was happy to be confined :-)  Now for some wine lol  I think I'm gonna sleep good tonight...

What can I say...

About tonight...

Sometimes you watch a movie and wish your life was as exciting as that.  With intrigue and suspense...a great f*ckin ride.  You see these cats with guns and stolen merchandise.  You see them racing cool cars and always staying one step ahead of the law.  It's bullsh*t.  You see, when things are actually like that, you need to take sleeping pills to sleep at night.  You need to drink to forget that any moment you could be f*cked and you need to do your best to never lose the real man that you are.  The one that would never take such a role.

Sometimes those are the only parts offered...and sometimes you find yourself really good at it...

The only good moment happened outside a Starbucks's bathroom :-)  Yet after all was said and done, I sat at a bar and tried my best to remain entertained...I failed.  I remembered something.  What it was like to come home with someone you love.  What it was like to just sit and watch a movie or a show after the popcorn or entenman's cake was ready.  What it was like to just "be" with them.  With strangers to choose from at a bar, I couldn't seem to shut that off no matter how hard I tried.  It's time to get ready...I have to be moving on soon.  My book is ready but one thing remains.  After that, I'm done...

Good night

Finally!!!...

My book is done...all it needs now is editing and new pictures.  It's finally done!!!  I am excited in the direction I've decided to take.  It's risky but if it pays off then the sky is the limit.  Thank you all to those that encouraged me in the process.  From family to friends.  Millie, Diana, Yesenia, Lynn, Gabrielle, Pastor Debbie, Denis, my prior facebook people and yes...Jennifer as well.

Now that I've got it put together...it's time for phase two lol  OH DIOS!!! ;-)

Flying...Sweet

That's right...the innovators :-)

This is October...

I found out something...

I am loved...  I am loved by people that love me at distance, in closeness, even in "not enough".  They love me even when they hate me because I can't give them more.  I am missed and remembered...I am blessed, not as a testament to how great I am...but how wonderful they are...

I found out how out of control my life really got through the eyes of one of the most beautiful people you will ever meet.  I found out that real family love knows no time or space and that eventually...that love makes it's way to a place of beautiful collision.  I found out that there are people I miss without having ever met them face to face and some I miss...that I have the privilege of seeing everyday.  I found out I have want and need that has lingered in my soul for years unfulfilled.  Something only true passion can satisfy.  I found out that I will "love" no matter what...I will "miss" no matter what...I will "be" no matter what...

And one more thing:  You can have me...but I will never be able to have you...

Yeah, it's been a crazy month

Not Afraid...

It's been a ride...

Guess I had to go to that place...to get to this one