Such Is The Ride...

"...I know that spittin's a bad habit but I can't help the taste..."

The most beautifully complex rollercoaster you've ever seen. Invested in your immersion. Ridden to satiation. Evaluated for elevation. Satiated...you gaze mesmerized the first few times but after awhile, you know you've seen enough so you no longer bother watchin. You're now more interested in the folks gettin on...and those gettin off. You peg em as soon as you see em. Who's gonna scream and who's gonna cry. Who's gonna hold on for dear life and who's gonna raise their hands in abandon. Who's playin tough and who's fakin weak. You watch them to see if anyone can make the ride interesting again. In between them gettin on and gettin off? Well...unless something interesting shows up...you got shit to do. 

Such is "the ride"...

~Apollo

Till Day Becometh You - A Poem by Moe

within this world of holy breath

now quickened is my soul

in this imparted temporal death

my power is made whole

here opened panoramic scale

is mine for sighted gain

till sword is found beyond the veil

that's broken every chain

for earthen lonely narrowed sight

hides most of beauty's view

find greatness here beyond the night

till day becometh you

~moses

Perspective...

"...this is a place where I don't feel alone..."

It's been close to one year that this man lost his wife to cancer.  As a testament to enduring life and love, today...he and his kids celebrated her birthday and with his permission, I share this now.  It is one of the most moving things I've ever read for many different reasons...yet one thing stands out more than any other.  Perspective is a powerful cure to many ailments...

"Last year we celebrated your birthday at Vic and Anthony’s restaurant in Atlantic City. The meal was delicious, our table was next to Jackie Ward trauma/PACU RN, the weather was bitter cold, we then walked around Borgata casino because we loved to people watch. It would be our last official date and this our last picture taken together. If we could go back to last year and you told me I have one week left with you, I wouldn’t have taken a bite of that meal. I would’ve stayed awake every minute of every day just to cherish what precious little time was left. You could’ve crash- course taught me to speak Spanish or better yet you could’ve taught me how to cook. Instead I’ve spent the last year looking at photos but mostly watching all the home movies of us at the beach, you teaching the boys salsa, birthdays and holiday get-togethers, Ocean City Maryland footage ad nauseum. Today we went to Cherry Hill Mall (but didn’t see Santa like we typically did) but oddly enough I had coins to toss into the fountains to make a wish (past 3 or 4 years - no coins) and your memory was mentioned frequently. We got a big tree and small tree at Lowe’s and I cried right there because it hit me; over 12 years since I bought a tree on my own. We sang Happy Birthday to you and had cupcakes but intentionally no candles. Then we each wrote you a little note on 3 separate balloons and released them so you can read them in Heaven or use them for your party up there. Jaxson took today very hard, the most I’ve seen him cry since he was a baby. And now the day is over, another ‘first’ for me is in the books, but to hear your voice on the home it still seems like you just went out to the store and will be right back. We will never forget about today and what it represents. I look at this picture and I still can’t believe how my life changed just 7 days after this was taken. You are loved and missed more than you’ll ever know. Happy Birthday Diana..." 

I know the world is a big place but never allow the smaller the world that is you and your loved ones take a back seat to it.  Make an honest assessment of your life and take stock at how good of a friend you've been, how much you've invested as a spouse or how much love and guidance you've shown as a parent. In the end...these are the things we will be remembered for which is why your smaller world carries so much weight.  Live life and love...and live them well.  Much love...

~Moses

Miles Of Ease - A Word by Moe

New York night like any other has me Miles away from where I'm sittin.  Holdin on to fallen satellites like shooting stars I'm blessed to catch.  Dreams unknown to me I get to breath back into souls that shared a moment inside an open hand.  Lovers lost and found and lost again.  Loving eyes and lips that speak to me in beautiful memories housed inside my soul re-igniting something...anything but still..."something". 

Clings to me closer than my skin...calcified in bone.  Enduring life, loss and pain to still be able to witness the glory of God in the soul of something sweeter than me.  Better than all I see in the mirror.  That sounds sweeter than any sound this earth can produce.  A frequency known only to those in tune with all that's majestic.  Electric and eclectic in spirit.  The fantastic made real in a moment of ecstasy you will never forget.  It has a heartbeat all it's own. 

If you know what I'm talkin about...you can hear it even now.  Whispered, it crawls on your skin...hinting at the sweet spots.  Flowing like holy water...intensified by surrender.  Teasin the mind I find in kind...easy.  This one's from me...

~Moses Apollo  

Drug Of Choice - A Poem by Moe

He said "easy..."

my drug of choice is kind to me

this hungry soul that sets me free

my solemn grasp of stable rage

exploding on a purposed stage

where unseen canvas colors churn

inside a beautys passion burn

and I am formed to set ablaze

that crazy twisted hungry phase

that cry for more from nightly moon

imbued by comley breaths that swoon

till overtaken comes for me

and I am lost in beauty's sea

~Moses Apollo

As Cripples Do - A Poem by Moe

"...after you've done all you can...stand..."

my soul has felt the lash of whip

till inner skin has shed 

for pieces fallen lost their grip

now pavement marks them dead

these pieces lost held on too long

to fuel a bitter life

but bitter minds see only wrong  

and cause internal strife

and though I walk as cripples do

Im stronger than before

for battles win the morning dew

till I have won the war

~Moses

Just Talkin...Keepin It Real...

"...I look in the mirror only to find...the face of a stranger..."

Walkin through this earth on the real sometimes keeps me lonely. Used to be easy to fake the funk but the flavor for it is gone because once you've tasted truth...all else is bland. It feels like a waste of time. Like takin a long walk to nowhere. I'll give you an example. I know you all know one or two that like to lead on the opposite sex because they feel good keepin someone hungry even though they know they ain't ever gonna get to feed them. They just usin somebody to make them feel good about themselves over something they don't really have the power to give...a fuckin waste. Now...if you feel the probability exists? Be honest about that and never let it get heavy until you know it's gonna happen. Keep it light till then and let the understanding of that lightly tug on the "need". Just keep the shit real. 

I remember a while ago having a conversation with someone I love about sexting and phone sex. She was surprised, given my writing, at my confession that I was bad at it. She said "but some of your writing is erotic!" and she was absolutely correct but most everyone fails to understand this about me until I prove my word. I didn't make that shit up...I lived it. When I write about nights of sweat, saliva and cum...I'm not lying nor am I exaggerating. I just never mention who it was with...although I might leave an "inside" clue here and there but I never kiss and tell. So yeah bottom line...I'm not a "talker". I value my word enough not to promise a thing I never intend on fulfilling...no matter how long it fuckin takes. Been years? I give a shit. I said it...I have to do it or at least apologize that circumstances have prevented the manifestation of my word.

Understand that this truth extends to all aspects of my life and it's why I rarely ever seriously flirt anymore or seek out women for pleasure. I know that it will lead to disappointment so why bother. Now, I've known men that profess to be great at phone sex but when the rubber meets the road...they can't outshine their imagination. It is the very reason why my imagination is fueled by the probable and/or...the possible. It is also the very reason why I never express most anything without intention as intent is everything. Some have a hard time believing that a "hello" or an offer to help from me are really just that and that is because with others, it usually isn't. A truism I've come to accept and take my time to dispel from how I'm received. I would never ask a woman to lower her guard towards men simply because it affects me. Just like you earn respect...you need to earn trust so ladies...hell yeah keep your guards up.

So do yourself a favor. Cut out the fake from your innards and work out the real to fill the vacuum left behind. I know it ain't easy for some because they have a hard time with the person they see in the mirror. Look closer...stare if you have to. The more you know about yourself, the greater your appreciation for the parts of you that are meant to shine. Anyway...yeah. I'm out...much love

~Moses

The Open Door - A Poem by Moe

"Surgere, et resurget, donec agnos factus leonum."

awake my slumbered sainted core

that wades encumbered skin

walk stoic past this fated door

to wrestle there within

for there my bruised and plundered breath

finds strength untapped to reap

this newfound life beyond all death  

where deep calls unto deep

for here all shed the outer shell

that bind the feet to floor

to brave the next and fare it well

beyond the open door

~Moses Apollo

The Sun Will Set For You...

"...sometimes goodbye's the only way..."

I may have written this one too many times but it seems to get truer by the day. This beautiful woman I loved was told after showing one of my pieces to a female artist that she felt bad for her. She said that because she was in love me, an artist, life would not be easy. She was right...imagine how I feel living with myself.

Always looking for the better inside. Requiring the occasional "shedding" of all I am to rise as something more. It never fails. You look in the mirror and you strip down to nothing. Noting the imperfections you know can be ironed out for no one but yourself. An ongoing quest to become everything you were meant to be. One that has gone past mentorship or advice. One that has been guided by brutal honesty. An honesty only God can provide because He sees the inner deeper than anyone could. You start again with only the good you keep and build again.

This is a revolution that carries you into evolution. An evolution no one else may ever notice...but you and God. There's no prize or accolade. There's no finish line. There's just the idea that you can be better and it's that striving that keeps us alive for greater purpose when all other purpose seems far into a future you are aware enough to expect. Like a man always preparing for an expected battle during peacetime. Fight to evolve and live...or stay the same and expire. The choice is yours...I've chosen mine. The sun will always set for me and every day will be new...and beautiful. Much love...I'm out...

~Moses Apollo

Freedoms Flow - A Poem by Moe

"...things like that drive me out of my mind..."

oh busy mind belay your trick

for masters dig the heavy slick

that surface sweat is cool and fine

but sweeter still the wet you mine

for passions stream requires breath

that freely flows from mental death

where heartbeats pulse a rhythmic groove

and blood flow dictates every move 

so leave behind all surfaced fruit

untethered passion feeds the root

whose taste alone will let you know

ecstatic heights from freedoms flow

~Moses Apollo