Imagine a gardener...
He loved the soil he tilled for years. Learned every inch of it... the kind of soil it was and what it could yield in terms of beauty and productivity. A tender kind of love that grew over time and understanding. As such, he became an expert at all things green and would at times help his neighbors. Neighbors... whose gardens were at times, more fertile than his own. A fact... he couldn't help but notice.
He grew to see how expert he became in this field and began to resent the keeping of his own little garden. He thought it drew him away from other, greater soil he could tend to. For although there was upkeep of his garden through skill, without love... the will to do so waned. He grew tired of his garden and decided to explore new soil. This "loving" man became corrupted by hubris and greed. He did the one thing a man of character should never do. He took his eyes off his truest intent... "love". As such, he became a different man. A man of talent without real passion. A man that could easily fool anyone into believing he was different than the rest. Why? Because at one time... he was.
Did the man have skill? Yes. Was he in demand for his skill? Yes. But did he use this skill to do as he pleased... or for some selfless greater good? Yes... and no. And this is where our story truly defines the heart of this man. What was born out of love should have remained a labor of love but he allowed it to be turned into a tool to satiate his ego. Wielding a power he knew he could use against the uninitiated, he hurt many along the way and lost what made him "special". He lost respect for the power he had and became just like every other gardener out there.
Now, given the painting of the analogy I am using, one could say that I am a gardener myself, but unlike this man... I chose a different path. Because I walked this road, I could identify this easily and sadly... there are way too many like this these days. What's worse... they keep f*ckin with my friends. Good women who only asked for love that get sucked into believing they found it with someone they see as having the ability to give it. Men, that actually can but that have already surrendered to the idea of the times enough that they've begun counterfeiting the motions of a loving, caring and conscientious individual... just to get the pieces that they want. A part they actually learned how to expertly play out... when they were honorable men.
To understand this expose from me, one must understand how I view this "power". I witnessed the truth of it when I was married. Women would engage with me due to appearance yes BUT to an even greater extent... because they could see and feel how much I loved my wife... and they wanted the same. I understood that I was an enigma but I also understood that to cater to this demand meant that I would become a fraud. I would no longer be what they were so enamored by... so I drew a new perspective on it. It wasn't that I was great or special. It was that I was like a rare collectors item and that meant that if at one time I was made without fanfare among ten thousand copies, the fanfare I was getting then, being the last copy in existence... was overblown. In short... I learned to appreciate my own press without being sold into it. I learned that the most important thing was to hold fast to the "why" of it. This way I would remain consistent... even if the "what" tended to change.
What was the "why"? Love... pure and simple. A driving force that doesn't let up across its spectrum. From "agape" to "phileo", it is a force that says "I'll be there for you when you call and leave you alone if you need me to". Choosing to serve it with honor... even if it costs me... and it HAS cost me. As anything that has value should. Folks, I hold my gifts at high esteem and respect them just the same. As such, it angers me when I see them used for selfish gain by those that should know better. Thus, the reason for this screed.
My friends... stay hip... stay wise. Keep loving and living but remain discerning. There are many "gardeners" out there that should never be underestimated. "Test the spirits" and understand that not all that glitters is gold. Intent... is king. If this is the only thing that God is moved by... why should it be any different with us? With love... I'm out...
~moses apollo
