My "Way" - Prelude To "Something"...

love recklessly with hope in hand, retain boundaries birthed by experiential wisdom & stick to your tailor-made pace. add no new fad nor allow the zeitgeist to dictate your heart's desire

forgive & show mercy, understand them using the awareness of your own humanity but always retain the knowledge of what they are capable of. stay mindful & use caution as to where they now place

acknowledge your mistakes but never wallow in them. accept consequence with honor & pay what is due as best you can but never allow guilt or shame to weigh down your soul to the point of stagnation or fear that freezes & begins to predicate your every move. press on with all you know you're capable of & self -correct. you cannot change what happened in the past. let it only serve as a lesson for the future & let NO ONE use it against you...especially your own mind

be bold in all areas of growth, discomfort is key to evolution. there is discomfort in failure

be prepared to let go, (or if called, to loosely wait) after you've done all you can towards a goal with no success "in sight". whether in love or life...carry no weight that no longer needs or wants to be carried  

demand for nothing as you are owed nothing in this life. do good deeds or good work for the sake of it...not to be seen or heard for applause or praise. do not expect reciprocation & do nothing to provoke it. after some time...you'll know when you've overstayed your welcome

endeavor to protect and/or inspire beauty that is close to the edge of extinction. never seek to abuse it, possess it or in any way damage what makes it beautiful. never take it for granted. it is found in nature & behind the eyes of a beautiful soul. be mindful of these as they are now rare

avoid violence when you can. be prepared for physical confrontation but its always best to use your wits. doing so on the violent nature is like throwing children's toys to a Neanderthal. they are calmed by the spectacle of the unknown. learn to put aside ego...the driving force behind the worst of our base nature

contend only with those that are willing to listen &/or engage with honor. you don't want to expend energy on a game of tug of war that only ends with a muddy opponent. win...by losing. let go of the damn rope. walk away knowing that watching paint dry has more value

the confident are convinced within themselves they have nothing to prove. the cocky are constantly looking for surface validation to assuage their insecurities. the confident man is the quiet man...he is the man with the power...the man with unspoken presence. the cocky and the arrogant seek out the attention of others to try to claim the semblance of power 

woman, only submit to a man that has demonstrated his willingness to die for you. man, if she is a good woman, love her more than you love yourself as this is YOUR form of submission. learn the intimate art of worth-ship and relish in her glory spirit, soul & body. learn her body & show her all that means...piece by piece. as you listen to her soul...so listen to her body. woman, if he is a good man, love, honor and respect him as he deserves to be loved, honored and respected. learn his language and show him your desire of him. stay honest and transparent with each other as there is safety in this. when all is said and done...love is sacrifice 

keep all things in their purist form as best you can. to be pure is not something holy or out of this world. it means to display all intention as is. to stay true to it. "keeping it real" as best you can means "the truest why" will always remain transparent for all or the one to whom it matters most...to see 

lead with love. love first & love in ways no one else can because it comes from you alone. love in ways that are exclusive to the person you choose to love...even if it means you need to let them go someday. until that day, if it should ever come...just love

always pursue what has meaning...seek the divine

~moses apollo apolinaris

been lookin to do this for awhile. in time...i pray to expand on this list & turn it into something more

Affection Redux...

 

"it's affection always,

you're gonna see it someday

my attention for you

even if it's not what you need"

Went to the doctors office with someone so she could get an MRI scan...typical stuff. I saw she was nervous so I began to caress her hair. Like I said...typical stuff right? Well...the Russian technician that was doing the IV stopped, looked up at me and said "thank you...really, thank you for that". I'm really perplexed and I look at the person I was with and she looks just as perplexed at this woman's reaction. The lady said "in all my years doing this, it's actually the first time I've seen anyone do that. You almost got me to cry...". I was literally in shock. It just couldn't be. In my household when I was married...this was standard. Not for points but because we believed that this is what you do for the people you cared about. You make them feel "good"...acknowledged and loved. Not just when they're in need of it...but even in those inspired "just because" moments. To hear this woman say that made me think back at the times I had with women and they had all mentioned that I was affectionate like it was something they weren't used to. Like it was something worthy of surprise. I could see this distinction being mentioned at an impromptu kiss or hug but a caress to the hair? Really?

So why the need to mention this? I'm asking yet again...what the f*ck is goin on out here?!? Has everyone decided to "love" on utilitarian terms alone? Is everyone just a f*ck buddy with no heart now? Are her feelings now just for her therapist or is it a situation where "we can't get too close now...God forbid she catches feelings!!!" Listen to me please...if you sharin fluids with someone either emotionally, spiritually or physically...show it. Men, don't be afraid of the labels the merchants peddling shame want to throw at you. I know this is an "issue" these days. Check this, I heard sending someone love letters etc is now considered a negative called "love bombing". That it's a strategy?!? A manipulation tactic?!? Yeah f*ck that looky here now...imma tell you that "I love you" and mean it. Imma send you songs I've thought through and imma write with you in mind and heart. If you think that's "love bombing" then let me know and I'll just stop...all of it. Get it? I am leaning more to the belief that this is the point. Has it dawned on anyone yet that everything a "gentleman" once did for a lady seems to now be deemed suspect? Interesting huh? Well I feel a teachable moment comin on. Allow me to show you how the current zeitgeist works: 

Men, you have one male "influencer" tell you "don't be a simp!!" You simplistically translate that as "treat her like sh*t until she crawls". You then you hear a female "influencer" say "too much affection is a red flag!!". You simplistically translate that as "we REALLY want to be treated like sh*t until we crawl". That loop will play on youtube in different iterations until you think you just learned the secret to getting and keeping a woman..."treat her like sh*t...until she crawls". Women...it's the same thing for you. You get the "red flag checklist" and it becomes your bible. Every new "influencer" adds something new that blows your narrow mind. Not ever noticing a simple fact: that EVERYONE is guilty of doing EVERYTHING on the damn checklist...including YOU!!! LOL Now back when I was comin up...we had talk shows promote pseudo-psychology. Well...it stuck like gum at the bottom of our shoes contributing to the moral decay of our society. This generation has "the influencer"...these stick more like a bacon strip on underwear. Both had the ability to do good but when what's good and real stopped leadin in the ratings (or likes)...it usually meant the sensational and outrageous had just started bleedin. 

So I ask anyone that believes in any of this junk to remove their head out their ass for five minutes and consider that maybe...just MAYBE, labeling everything a man does for a woman as a negative will deter most men from doing anything at all. Making the destruction of the "fulfilled relationship" a foregone conclusion which in turn leads to the destruction of a potential family. Stop listening to TikTockers/Youtubers. Understand that their appeal rests on the idea that if you heed their advice..."you won't get hurt" and I get it. I've always advocated the back to basics approach. Just take your time. Judge by word & deed yes but keep intent as the qualifier and throw out the one size fits all checklists. You'll be surprised to find that sincere humans are actually nuanced in both word and deed. No matter what you've gone through, don't be afraid to love. Stay hip and wise. Protect your heart through experience, discernment and the wisdom they provide but don't ever shut off all that "real" love flows out of and flows into...including affection. I'm out my beautiful people...

~moses

The Lover's Crime - A Word by Moe

"your soft, my hard...this pleasurin stuff's my callin card..."

my hookah smoke rises on past the moon at the tune of whiskey blues riffin sex... 

it's a cool night and somethin's on your mind. an impulse session good n fine for heartset souls designed to shine. my hands glidin on soft skin you think imperfect, only perfectly tenderized by life. bare and sweet-like on my own cryin out a tender moan only I can hear. eyes on fingertips as they glide through every valley and ridge fatefully placed to grace this sighted fool. it's in my "cool" to see it all with eyes wide closed. in, out...teasin up and down. not too hard, soft grazin on your lickable crown. slick like oil and sweat combined until the uncontrollable writhe finds the rhythm in our groove...inspirin your move...to spill. 

just this once...then everytime. blood fiendin for..."the lovers crime"...

~apollo 

Come Stars Align - A Poem by Moe

"the hardest part is when you're in it..."

i catch my breath 

to tease the whole

from unknown depths

of hungers' soul

my reach is far

my tongue, a flame

out there a star

still mine to claim

so hunger come

and fill my breath

till I am numb

to your own death

so she can rest

her heart on mine

and find me blessed

...come stars align

~moses